Funny And Interesting Video Clips Thread + Jokes and Funny SMS

canadian

Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

Man O Man

When without money, eats wild vegetables at home
When with money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant.

When without money, rides bicycle;
When with money, rides exercise machine.

When without money, walks to earn food
When with money, walks to lose the fat

Man O Man ! never fails to deceive thyself !

When without money, wishes to get married;
When with money, wishes to get divorced.

When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When with money, secretary becomes wife.

When without money, acts like rich man;
When with money, acts like poor man.

Man, O Man, never can tell the simple truth !

Says stock market is bad but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.
Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.
Says gambling & drinking is bad but keeps indulging;

Man O Man ! Never means what he says and never says what he means!






Man O Man !

 

abbasiali

Minister (2k+ posts)
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

lolzzzzzzzzzzz

Remind me my Kawasaki KE175 ride on one wheel, hahahaha...........those were the days my friend, I thought that never end, with singing, dance.............lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

یاد ے ماضی عذاب ہے یا رب چھین لے مجھ سے حافظہ میرا
 

Aijazahmed

Minister (2k+ posts)
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

lolzzzzzzzzzzz

Remind me my Kawasaki KE175 ride on one wheel, hahahaha...........those were the days my friend, I thought that never end, with singing, dance.............lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

یاد ے ماضی عذاب ہے یا رب چھین لے مجھ سے حافظہ میرا

One wheeling and Abbasi? Strange!!!Isn't it?
 

canadian

Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

A Brave Man's Jokes
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry her!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?

1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

What should you give a woman who has everything?

A man to show her how to work it.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married my 'Miss Right'.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's s*ex drive by
90% ...
…it's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
 

mdanishtaha

Politcal Worker (100+ posts)
Re: Jokes / SMS Thread

Quran Pak says:" Jhooto par ALLAH ki ****** hai "
Hadis Mubarik ka mahfum: "mazak may b jhoot bolna gunah hai"

pathan,sardar,teach,faraz aur tamam type k messages jhoot aur farzi tor par banaye jaty hai ...so avoid it.we are increasing our sins like these threads and posts.
 

canadian

Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

* I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in,
she said: Cheque books.

* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the
prices of new car.


* What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute
and then expects your pulse to be normal.

* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on
the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

* Q: Why dogs don't marry?




A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

* Q: What's the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you
into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

* Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
closes it. He does this again and again. Why?



Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out funny one liners.





 

Night_Hawk

Siasat.pk - Blogger
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

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canadian

Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

Installation of LOVE
8.gif
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8.gif


Customer: I want to install Love. What do I do first?


Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?


Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?


Customer Service Rep: What programs are running ma'am?


Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT,COM running right now.


Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT,COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?


Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?


Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT,COM have been completely erased.


Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?


Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?


Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?


Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.



Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?


Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?


Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?


Customer Service Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before It can "LOVE"others.


Customer: So what should I do?


Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?


Customer: Yes, I have it.


Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.


Customer: Thank you.


Customer Service Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, EALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.



Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH,COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT,COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!


Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer:
Yes?


Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.


Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
 

canadian

Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
Re: Lahori's Random, Funny And Interesting Clips Thread

Ya Allah .. ! Khaanay Ko Rotti De
Pehan-nay Ko Kaprra De
Rehnay Ko Makaan De
Izzat Aur Assoodgi Ki Zindagi De

Mian .. ! Yeh Bhi Koi Maangnay Ki Cheez Hai .. ?
Khuch Aur Maanga Ker .. !

Baba Ji Aap Kya Maangatay Hain .. ?

Main .. ?
Main Yeh Cheezein Nahin Maangata.
Main To Kehta Hun Allah Miyan Mujhay Imaan De
Naik Amal Karnay Ki Taufeeq De ..

Baba Ji Aap Theek Maangtay Hain
Insaan Wohi Cheez To Maangta Hai
Jo Uskay Paas Nahin Hoti .. !!
 

casper_iam

MPA (400+ posts)
just for laugh funny comedy video clips mast see 2011

just for laugh funny comedy video clips mast see 2011

 
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