Need informed opinion on the process of divorce and khula please

[Wadaich]

To my understanding........it is not Khula. It is one Talaq after which reconciliation is no problem. Islam being a natural code of life gives highest priority and encourages reconciliation between husband and wife. All the sects/schools of Islam has solid backing of Quran & Sunnah (Sahih Hadees-e-Mubarakah), one must follow the opinion of any sect/school of thought which gives room for reconciliation; even if you don't belong to that school of thought.

 

[Truthstands]

2nd video explain as I mention. To my understanding,

Q: What is the proof from the Quraan and Sunnah of the validity of three Talaaqs (divorces) in one sitting?

A. The ruling is that if the Talaaq has been pronounced thrice then three Talaaqs have taken place. Unfortunately, this marriage is over. There were special reasons why three Talaaqs were considered as one in the time of Our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) and Sayyidina Abu Bakr (Radhiyallaahu Anhu). Later on, when these reasons were no longer found, the original ruling of three Talaaqs was re-implemented by the Second Caliph Umar and all Sahaabah (Radhiyallaahu Anhum) thereafter. This is then the ruling of all the Ulama of this Ummat. Three are three and that’s official.


The following great Ulama are among the many who hold the view that three Talaaqs at once are valid and effective, even though it is sinful to do so:

Imam Qurtubi, Imam Tahaawi, Ibni Qudaamah, Shaykh Ibni Taymiyyah, Shaykh Ibnul Qayyim and he also says that this is the view of the four Imams, viz. Abu Hanifa, Shaafi’, Malik, and Ibni Hambal, and it is the view of the majority of Sahaabah and Taabi’een.

Among latter day scholars, Shaykh Bin Baaz, former grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Abdullah Khayyaat (former Imam of Haram in Makkah) and other Saudi scholars also issued Fatwas that three Talaaqs in one sentence is valid and effective. The Hadeeth of Uwaymir (Radhiyallaahu Anhu) in Bukhaari and Muslim also proves that three Talaaqs at once is valid. There is also a Saheeh Hadeeth in Abu Dawood to support this.

Imam Tahaawi narrates that one day during his Khilaafat Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaahu Anhu) addressed the people in his time (and note that the “people” in his time consisted of senior and high-ranking Sahaabah like Ibni Abbaas, Ibni Mas’ud, Ibn Umar, Uthman, Ali, Ibn Zubair, Talha, Abu Ubaidah and hundreds of others Radhiyallaahu Anhum). He said to the people: “O People! There was in the former times leniency in Talaaq for you (i.e. three in one sitting was regarded as one only), but whoever will abuse that leniency of Allah, we shall impose it upon him (by counting three as three).” Here Sayyiduna Umar addressed all the Sahaabah regarding three Talaaqs. If this was a Bid’ah then not a single Sahaabi would have accepted or approved this move by the second Khalifa. The fact that none of the top Sahaabah objected to this, or rejected it, brings us a concept called Ijmaa’ul-Ummah, or Consensus of Sahaabah, which is a Daleel (proof) equal in strength to Qur’aan and Sunnah.

May Allah guide us to the right path.

 

[intekhab]

My nikkah was done without rukhsati because I live abroad. Still I was sending money to my wife but after few months I lost my job and we asked them to wait for visa until i get a job. I was jobless for 6 months and my wifes behaviour was started to change towards me and my family. She never liked to talk with us so I decided to stop sending money but she kept asking for money. I told her I'm not obligated to send u money until rukhsati.

When I found job and told her, she replied me I have no interest anymore "tu farigh hai humari tarf se" after that we said return our all money and jewellery then I will give divorce. They refused to return and I'm stuck in this nikkah since 3 years. They broke all contact with us.

Brother in Islam there is no such a thing rukhsati.....nikkah is the main thing the contract...if that happens that mean she is your WIFE ...you are responsible for her requirements but if you are financially stuck you better make her understand but you can't or shouldn't blame her if she asks for money she needs...this is just my understanding but you better get your families together and TALK...that might solve your issues.

 

[intekhab]

Talaq is something that man gives to his wife and khulla is women's right if she don't wants to live with her husband.

 

[Alamz]

Thank you for your replies.

My understanding is that the husband does not want to take her back anymore as after 2 years of this he is tired of this life even if the wife wants to get back together again.

The question is if this is khula and what of haq mehr in this case?

I'll ask him to find local aalim in his area and ask this issue from him as well.

In Khulla case,the girl is bound to return "haq e mehr".But in most cases they don't return it.

 

[Pak Falcon]

Brother in Islam there is no such a thing rukhsati.....nikkah is the main thing the contract...if that happens that mean she is your WIFE ...you are responsible for her requirements but if you are financially stuck you better make her understand but you can't or shouldn't blame her if she asks for money she needs...this is just my understanding but you better get your families together and TALK...that might solve your issues.

I know that bro, but what if after nikkah she don't want to sleep with you instead she sleeps with her parents even if you are there, what if she don't want to spend time with u nor wants to talk with you although u r sending her money and gave her new smartphone but she still refuse to talk with you. Only messeage u get from her is send me money. What does islam says about that?

I got never financial problem I was sending money even after loosing job. I live in europe u get social benefits here until u find a new job. Only problem was she had to wait to apply for visa because it can only be applied if im working.

 

[Naveed1406]

Dear Brother,
Depending upon sect, kindly contact a religious scholar and explain the matter with religious scholar (you and your wife together) the whole story.
I can advise on Pakistan's law (Talaq and the Muslim Family Law Ordinance, 1961 in Pakistan) this is slightly different to 'Hanfi' way of divorce.
Without going into details (as I understand issue of 'divorce' is still a debatable) matter in our religion. Please consider your options as above.
May be other people on this matter can advise/explain more.

 

[MHAMZA]

Brother in Islam there is no such a thing rukhsati.....nikkah is the main thing the contract...if that happens that mean she is your WIFE ...you are responsible for her requirements but if you are financially stuck you better make her understand but you can't or shouldn't blame her if she asks for money she needs...this is just my understanding but you better get your families together and TALK...that might solve your issues.

There is .. please refer to Holy Prophet PBUH marriage to Hazrat Bibbi Aeyshah RA .. when period of Nikah and Ruksati was almost 3 years...

 

[Alamz]

There are difference of opinions on (3 talaks in one sitting happens or not ) among Ulama e Karam.I heard Dr Zakir Naik.he was of the opinion that Talak does not happen in this way.
In KPK among Deobandi sect ,mostly what i know Ulema are of against Dr Zakir Naik and many mores' opinion.

 

[Naveed1406]

Further to my previous message, I suggest in eyes of Pakistan's law (you still have to go as per 1961 family ordinance) to finally receive a divorce paper (in some cases it may go as long as 2 years or plus)-
Understand there is some discussions by Council of Islamic Ideology where they are thinking to punish by law 3 divorce at one time (however, decision whether divorce happens or not can be established by contacting a religious scholar of your choice) and explaining him all story.
Anyway, as I said earlier, here on this forum we can only give our opinions but you may get some guidance from pakistani lawyer as well as from a religious scholar (to further clarify matters) because as I understand divorce givens (verbally) are subjective matters depending upon no. of factors/sects/conditions/situations.
Thanks.

 

[Naveed1406]

There are difference of opinions on (3 talaks in one sitting happens or not ) among Ulama e Karam.I heard Dr Zakir Naik.he was of the opinion that Talak does not happen in this way.
In KPK among Deobandi sect ,mostly what i know Ulema are of against Dr Zakir Naik and many mores' opinion.

Yes, verbally given divorces should be consulted with islamic scholars to explain situations, also, remember per Pakistan's family law, there is slightly different procedure to finally receive the divorce paper (and if people follow that process, it will automatically take people for 3 months process and then a document is issued which is final in eyes of laws).
In my opinion, if pakistanis are living abroad they should also (as per local laws) register their marriages in govt. Heard of many cases where marriage done in pakistan and couple decide divorce in other country (where the authorities could not process divorce) because marraige is not registered in their system nor do they have sharia laws. Since, this matter is still debatable in our religion (I believe till then we have to follow country's law, because religious scholar have different point of views across the board).

 

[citizen12]

Thanks bro, recovery takes time. Finding a good girl is like finding treasure nowadays specially when you live in Europa. There are all over mera jism meri marzi wali

Marry with a reverted girl. I married with an english reverted girl although she is very young but she turned my life into heaven. She do everything for me. We have 2 kids, she look after them managing home like cleaning cooking washing. She offers namaz and tahajjud.

 

[Pak Falcon]

There is .. please refer to Holy Prophet PBUH marriage to Hazrat Bibbi Aeyshah RA .. when period of Nikah and Ruksati was almost 3 years...

Can you please provide some details, how did they live in period of nikkah and rukhsati for 3 years?

 

[Pak Falcon]

Marry with a reverted girl. I married with an english reverted girl although she is very young but she turned my life into heaven. She do everything for me. We have 2 kids, she look after them managing home like cleaning cooking washing. She offers namaz and tahajjud.

I will if I find

 

[citizen12]

I will if I find

Inshallah u will find a good and pretty woman.

 

[deathchallenger]

Gone through both divorce and khula myself.

1st and 2nd divorce is a warning and doesn't break the nikkah. You're married until all three divorces are served with 1 month interval in between. Talaq is almost like serving a notice to behave/improve with a threat off full blown divorce. It's a very common practice that men normally give one talaq in anger etc. but it doesn't break the nikkah completely.

Khula is women right for divorce. She just needs to state the reasons of khula etc and khula decree is awarded by the judge.

If man exercise the right of divorce i.e. serve all three divorces, as per law you have to pay haq mehr and lose any dowry items such as jewelry etc given to wife. However, if women takes khula than she needs to return dowry items first. Anyway both are painful as it is but I guess sometimes you are left with very little choice in life.

 

[intekhab]

I know that bro, but what if after nikkah she don't want to sleep with you instead she sleeps with her parents even if you are there, what if she don't want to spend time with u nor wants to talk with you although u r sending her money and gave her new smartphone but she still refuse to talk with you. Only messeage u get from her is send me money. What does islam says about that?

I got never financial problem I was sending money even after loosing job. I live in europe u get social benefits here until u find a new job. Only problem was she had to wait to apply for visa because it can only be applied if im working.

This is our cultural problem....now a days people they do nikkah but don't let the couple live together .in your case that applies I believe you get the nikkah done so that you can get her immigrated with you but now these confusions are arising becouse you guys are married but not living like a couple...my honest suggestion is to talk to her and explain your feelings and if she avoids talking to you then talk to her dad1st and ask for his advice becouse no dad in the world would like to ruin his daughters life like this.

 

[Citizen X]

And this is why I decided loooong back not to get married to a desi woman or have an arranged marriage.

And thank god everyday for not doing so.

 

[Pak Falcon]

This is our cultural problem....now a days people they do nikkah but don't let the couple live together .in your case that applies I believe you get the nikkah done so that you can get her immigrated with you but now these confusions are arising becouse you guys are married but not living like a couple...my honest suggestion is to talk to her and explain your feelings and if she avoids talking to you then talk to her dad1st and ask for his advice becouse no dad in the world would like to ruin his daughters life like this.

In my case her dad is the main culprit. We called him and asked him let me talk with her and solve the issue he said "wo ana chahti lekin apse baat nhi karna chahti agay jo apki marzi" I said "main us larki ka visa apply nhi kar sakta jo mere se baat he nhi kar sakti " and he replied then in anger "nhi bhejni humne" that was it

 

[Nebula]

I never wanted to give divorce, she wants divorce and I said ok I will give only if u return all money which I send to you and whole gold plus artificial jewellery which we gave her on nikkah because that was just paper marriage. She dont want to give anything back so only option for her is now khula if I dont give divorce.

You are the big shit person. If the lady don't want to continue you are asking for the gifts you gave to her in response to her freedom. Using Islam as a tool. You will go to heal. All your ibaadat naikii will go until counted and you are just teasing someone for last 3 years. Blackmaling. And on this forum people are getting sad about you unbelievable. Go ask a mufti or mulana and see what they say about you. You can do an other marriage but that girl can't. The other thing you are living abroad how can they know you are jobless or not. She did the right thing to move with you as may be you can sale her abroad just for money. These are girls concerns.