Some more services are available in the Hotline of Pakistan Army which were skipped by our honourable friend Awan Sir may be due to some urgency of his private engagements when he was composing the list. Anyhow here are some more options for the masses of Pakistan;
Press 10: For Human Resource and Outsourcing Services (Basically to kidnap, torture and handing over to the concerned client states, irrespective of following any judicial procedures and extradition treaties, based on the size of their service charge. Special discount rates are available for US the almighty benefactor lord of Pak Army establishment)
Part 11: For Islamic Revival and Progression Services (Currently not available to the siblings and family members of the Armed forces the young juveniles and teenaged boys from other strata of Pakistan and the Muslim world are most welcome. Good martial, terrorist, destructive, extremist and brain washing training facilities will be provided by the support of our out-stationed sponsors like Saudi Arabia, CIA etc)
Press 12: For Rental Services (Here in case of any insurgency, revolt by the poor masses or curbing the detractors in any part of the world Pakistani Armed forces will be proud to play the role of Mercenary Army for our paying clients. Our recent past’s track record of such services can be adjudged in Somalia, Bahrain, Bosnia, Saudi Arabia and Sri Lanka)
Press 13: For the Sale and After Sale Services of Nuclear Assets (Who can forget our services for Libya, Iran and North Korea in this regard therefore on good bids these expensive services will be provided with utmost secrecy and exquisite planning and in case of any leakages the scapegoats like Dr. A Q Khan will be provided to bear the brunt of the International community)
Press 14: For Jihad Services (We are proud of our assets of the past like Taliban, Afghan Militias, Lashkar E Tayeba & Jhangwi, Harkat ul Mujahideen & Ansar and countless other militant splinter groups in this region since 1979. Doing such esteemed services in the name of Allah SWT for some Dollars, Euros and Riyals are not something uncalled for and for this purpose the wishful candidates from around the world will be warmly welcomed in Pakistan)
Press 15: For Entertainment Services (We are proud of our Swingers Club, Bars, private exclusive clubs for homo’s and hetero’s along with Mujra dance parties for civilian and military personnel on various exotic locations of Pakistan and Gulf and will welcome the new members with our special bargaining rates)
Press 16: For Special Spying Services (ohh no you have mistaken us on this regard we don’t provide the maritime, air and territorial reconnaissance services anymore to anyone as the satellite services of our good friends like China and US are doing these sort of duties for us and by doing this they are serving their own interests as well. What we mean my “Special Spying” services here is to provide the scandalous, explicitly sexual conduct and private lives of any individual in Pakistan be if he / she is from Politics, Civil or Military Bureaucracy, judiciary or from other sectors of Pakistan. The tapping of telephones, Mobiles and internet browsing is been going on and its record can be accessed from the ISI and GHQ’s leads by paying some good handsome fee to such services of ours)
To Be Contd…. *
Note* Only if the author will be able to survive the possible abduction, torture or killing at the hands of the Holy Cows Association of Pakistan after posting there valuable services list on this thread.
