wanderer
Siasat.pk - Blogger
well I dont know what u've been through...
but its " Why were u having fun talking to her " not the other way around....
Bret Hawk
Senator (1k+ posts)
So nice of you to reply promptly to my question anyhow I fully agree with that part of your statement which Ive underlined but on the issue of possessiveness I have few things to share here on this debate and to get enlightened in this process hopefully.
Normally women from the humbled, lower middle class families in underdeveloped states like Pakistan do have some sort of social and religious compulsions when it comes their volatile relationships with their husbands and I fully understand their state of perplexed and worried state of mind when they can anticipate some troubling wafts to blow and shake the fragile threads of their relationships.
But when it comes to the case study of those women who fortunately happens to belong from well off families, financially independent or in that fortunate state which surely can give them some sort of support in case of any mishaps then why normally their volatile behaviour normally subsumed to some sort of peace and tranquillity of mind and heart?
As far as the normal observation is concerned then Masha Allah most of the women do possess an affable and charming personalities, beautiful demeanour, and if fortunate enough then normally they also possess good educational backgrounds as well.
To me at least the constant state of disbelief, mental disorientation and psychological morbidities to plague such strata of women (vast majority of them) in our society to say the least is a perplexing phenomenon. A bold, confident, highly educated and financially independent woman should rise above to these (Negative) issues of Possessiveness and exclusivity of claim like phrases because I think a mentally strong and upright woman can tackle these minor issues of her domestic life very easily in an aplomb manner without getting in hysterical and diminutive state of mind.
canadian
Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
So there you go !!! Thats crux of the matter.no more,no less.
wanderer
Siasat.pk - Blogger
how can we equate the ownership in a relationship to education/ financial stability and independance ?
Maybe possessiveness was too harsh a word, now that I have.... might as well
possessive on the woman part is negative ?? what is the worst outcome ?? Hysterics ??
I personally think exclusive rights stand the same way as it would for a Male in a relationship. Being financially independent, highly educated does not really give all the answers, because in the end these women arnt the only ones that get hysterical.
does fighting over ownership /belonging to someone.... or expressing that thght become a dimunitive state of mind ?? or u mean acknowledging that a woman does not like / want her man being too chummy with another woman a diminutive state of mind.
By the way when we talk about - what level of possessiveness was the topic on ?
hehe, I was not expecting you guys will start writing looooooooong posts, seriously . Can't you write in one or 2 lines (bigsmile). and please no shaadi daftar again please.
No worries, universal problem. :P
Bret Hawk
Senator (1k+ posts)
Of course Wanderer the strong position and stability of a woman do tends to reduce a whole lot of pressure off from her shoulders as compare to her those contemporaries who don’t have such financial viability and means to take a stand in those sort of situations which they normally face in their difficult domestic lives.
Possessiveness to me means in this discussion to hold the claims of a particular individual whilst also having fears of losing him in the near future because of multiple reasons and factors. I personally think when you are sincere, honest and entreatingly loyal to someone in love and affection then you should not get any qualms or vibes of the supposed disloyalty and unfaithfulness of your beloved because if that demeaning and low character person tends to ignore your whole love and care in a matter of few seconds then surely you are better off without the company of such thankless and un-acknowledging low life character.
Life and emotions should never remain at a static emotional level when it comes to the normal individuals of course there are few exceptions like our beloved parents, our spiritual masters and guides and some divinely ordained authorities but apart from that unfaithful and unscrupulous individuals deserves no more chances, which depends on one’s personal humble nature and character to grant such reprieves to the concerned unthankful individual. In short be good to others but never become that straight and accommodating to them so that the manipulators would be able to cut you to the size as the straight and tall trees used to get the treatment of getting trimmed and cut to the base by the timber merchants as once beautifully expressed by a great ancient Indian scholar Pundit Chanakya.
P.S. Yes you’re right and may be we will be told shortly to get on lighter mood as this stuff might not be that much appeasing for our friends. Smiles… :)
Possessiveness to me means in this discussion to hold the claims of a particular individual whilst also having fears of losing him in the near future because of multiple reasons and factors. I personally think when you are sincere, honest and entreatingly loyal to someone in love and affection then you should not get any qualms or vibes of the supposed disloyalty and unfaithfulness of your beloved because if that demeaning and low character person tends to ignore your whole love and care in a matter of few seconds then surely you are better off without the company of such thankless and un-acknowledging low life character.
Life and emotions should never remain at a static emotional level when it comes to the normal individuals of course there are few exceptions like our beloved parents, our spiritual masters and guides and some divinely ordained authorities but apart from that unfaithful and unscrupulous individuals deserves no more chances, which depends on one’s personal humble nature and character to grant such reprieves to the concerned unthankful individual. In short be good to others but never become that straight and accommodating to them so that the manipulators would be able to cut you to the size as the straight and tall trees used to get the treatment of getting trimmed and cut to the base by the timber merchants as once beautifully expressed by a great ancient Indian scholar Pundit Chanakya.
P.S. Yes you’re right and may be we will be told shortly to get on lighter mood as this stuff might not be that much appeasing for our friends. Smiles… :)
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wanderer
Siasat.pk - Blogger
theek hai... na karoo :P dont complain jab dayr ho jayeye...
Ur wish..
Why u got ADD ?? 2 lines say ziyada concentration gai ??
Another question, khawateen ko dosroun ke shaadi kerwany ke jaldi keyoun hotey hay??
I can read and understand everyone's post but to read Bret hawk's post I need xtra energies, Bret Bhai yaar keya khatay ho aap, koe khas nuskha hay tou humaray sath bhi sahre karo.
wanderer
Siasat.pk - Blogger
:((((((((((((( I had a 20 liner reply ...and Siasat.pk asked me to log in again :( ............. I lost my reply.
wanderer
Siasat.pk - Blogger
arey dont marry :P mera kiya.... nahin I dont have such ambitions ......
canadian
Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
There is one thing in life that you cannot change anyone.A man cannot change a woman if her character is not right and certainly a woman cannot change a man when it comes to faithfulness.Only a man can keep a man faithful,not a woman and her ways.A man must posess certain traits to be faithful.But before he can ever be concerned with these traits,he must respect a woman and then respect himself......lol :)
Bret Hawk
Senator (1k+ posts)
Aray Waseem bhai aapnay bhi Wanderer ki tarah sharminda karna shuru kar deya :P. Nahi aise koi khas baat nahi bro wohi aam sa khana kha leta hoon yaani salan aur roti Ammi jaan kay peyaray haton sai bani huwe. Baki bas yaar Waseem bhai zindagi sey zara bezaar aur ukhra ukhra sa rehta hoon na aksar is liye dil ka baujh halka karnay aajata hoon yahan logoon ka demagh chaatnay (bigsmile). Khair anyhow its good to be here rather than letting my internal conflicts to consume me internally in my privacy and to be able to share my bak bak with other forum members and cause them some headaches :doh: during this genial process. Smiles...
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canadian
Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
Thanks BretHawk.
We really feel honored and learn a lot from your wisdom.
Please do keep yourself engaged in our activities.
wanderer
Siasat.pk - Blogger
Im sure I speak for all when I say, we are glad ur sharing .......
and I think Super Duper Moderator is just jealous that "WE" can write more than 2 lines. He on the other hand has to monitor other members as well as US :) u c bohat sara kaaaaaaaaaam hai na yeah.
wanderer
Siasat.pk - Blogger
my re-reply to Bret hawk's post....
I believe its not the financial position or stability of a woman that plays a major role when it comes the difficult phase of insecurity.
when there is a doubt/suspicion in a woman's mind, it didnt justconjure there. It must have some sort of history or background to it. Irrrelevant to her financial status, the result is the same, the fear is the same.
like I said I used Possessiveness, too harshly here. when I just wanted to specify ownership. My thght was only to state "what is mine, remains mine- I am entitled to every smile,no one else can have it" (here - no one else is -another female -not family) But this feeling does not mean the fear of loosing.
Once a person has succeeded in establishing affection and loyalty claims towards or for the other person, that faith and honesty should facilitate the trust and belief that these feelings are sincere and faithfull.
But a woman on her own blindly trusts and believes in her partner to be loyal and true to her, and like I said earlier.....a stone brings ripples to standing water. ( and this is generally, not the special cases)
Where feelings are involved, somewhere, somehow, intentionally or unintentionally, someone gets offended or hurt.
Yes being good to others helps, but only to an extent, coz if you are not paying attention, someone might just walk over you.
I believe its not the financial position or stability of a woman that plays a major role when it comes the difficult phase of insecurity.
when there is a doubt/suspicion in a woman's mind, it didnt justconjure there. It must have some sort of history or background to it. Irrrelevant to her financial status, the result is the same, the fear is the same.
like I said I used Possessiveness, too harshly here. when I just wanted to specify ownership. My thght was only to state "what is mine, remains mine- I am entitled to every smile,no one else can have it" (here - no one else is -another female -not family) But this feeling does not mean the fear of loosing.
Once a person has succeeded in establishing affection and loyalty claims towards or for the other person, that faith and honesty should facilitate the trust and belief that these feelings are sincere and faithfull.
But a woman on her own blindly trusts and believes in her partner to be loyal and true to her, and like I said earlier.....a stone brings ripples to standing water. ( and this is generally, not the special cases)
Where feelings are involved, somewhere, somehow, intentionally or unintentionally, someone gets offended or hurt.
Yes being good to others helps, but only to an extent, coz if you are not paying attention, someone might just walk over you.
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