When a man steals your wife!

[Muhammad Tauseef A. Bajwa]

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,"What does a woman want?"
Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the cl-assifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous

 

[hafeezu]

it is awesome!

 

[riverblue]

:D :D :D

here are a few more:

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

 

[khattaksahib]

Simply fabulous. My wife and me lived happily for 28 years and then WE MARRIED.......

 

[canadian]

I will just add two more jokes which are very near to reality.

"
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
"
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."

 

[pakistan1947]

Well that was good , but i dnt understand y people make fun of their wives.......eventhough they need them.

 

[A.Ali.T]

Well that was good , but i dnt understand y people make fun of their wives.......eventhough they need them.

That is the dilemma, you cannot live with them and you cannot live without them

 

[wanderer]

Well that was good , but i dnt understand y people make fun of their wives.......eventhough they need them.

the shareef man is always afraid of his wife.....

its the non shareef ones that make fun of their wifes.

 

[wanderer]

I will just add two more jokes which are very near to reality.

"
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
"
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."

tsk tsktsk........ how sad

If it wasnt the kharcha... obviously alll men would be lazying around. Atleast the women are giving them direction !!! Motivation !!!!!

 

[A.Ali.T]

the shareef man is always afraid of his wife.....

its the non shareef ones that make fun of their wifes.

Shareef men are always afraid of their wives..... non shareefs don't admit it.

 

[niazi]

Dont forget Allah,he says about men and there wives in quran that,

They are dress of each other,what a beautiful example a dress covers our defects that we dont want to show,dress makes us beautiful,dress protects us from severe weather conditions,dress is our pride we dont want to take it off and so on................................................,think before u make fun of this beautiful relation ship.

 

[wanderer]

Shareef men are always afraid of their wives..... non shareefs don't admit it.

Non sharif's dont admit it, they just come on forums like these and "dil ka booj halka ker laytay hain"

 

[Saboo]

Let us show some respect for her.
She is the only one who knows who is the real father of your child.

 

[canadian]

the shareef man is always afraid of his wife.....

its the non shareef ones that make fun of their wifes.

@
Wanderer
Com on ! Jokes are Jokes.Get a good laugh and take them in good stride.....lol

 

[canadian]

tsk tsktsk........ how sad

If it wasnt the kharcha... obviously alll men would be lazying around. Atleast the women are giving them direction !!! Motivation !!!!!

Very true.:)

 

[FaisalKh]

Dont forget Allah,he says about men and there wives in quran that,

They are dress of each other,what a beautiful example a dress covers our defects that we dont want to show,dress makes us beautiful,dress protects us from severe weather conditions,dress is our pride we dont want to take it off and so on................................................,think before u make fun of this beautiful relation ship.

:mash::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::jazak:

 

[Saboo]

:mash::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::You_Rock_Emoticon::jazak:

Too many rocks!
Ab bus bhi kurein keh sungsar kerkay he chorrein gay?

 

[A.Ali.T]

Dont forget Allah,he says about men and there wives in quran that,

They are dress of each other,what a beautiful example a dress covers our defects that we dont want to show,dress makes us beautiful,dress protects us from severe weather conditions,dress is our pride we dont want to take it off and so on................................................,think before u make fun of this beautiful relation ship.

Niazi Bhai,
We are just kidding and our wives know it too. If we start bragging about how much we love and care for our wives, it would be boring.

 

[Bret Hawk]

Though the light & benign quotes and remarks of the first post of this thread mostly represent the point of view of one particular gender but underneath of those remarks lays a general legacy and sense of misunderstandings & paradoxes of centuries between these two different genders. A mans relationship with his opposite gender and the nature of that relationship has troubled the great and ordinary minds alike in the annals of human history which I would like to represent in the following section with a sketchy memory;

Plato: A true love between a man and woman cant exist in this world. In fact a man in this world wont be able to love any thing except to appease his own ego and satisfaction because of the latent selfish nature of majority of men. For a Man, and in the similar vein Woman as well, the physical and characteristic qualities of his love interest have only one purpose and that is to cater for his (Physiological, spiritual and Egotistic) needs and requirements.

Aristotle: For a vibrancy and sanity to co exist in the character of an individual the instrument of (Intimate) friendship is essential because good friends supplements each others very well during the course of their life. A Man without the company of his intimate friend wont be able to achieve the great spiritual and materialistic feats which hes otherwise capable of achieving it with that gift of nature.

Martha Nussbaum: A man can only actualise the presence of his love interest in a vivid manner during the phase of absence of his love interest. His usual state of indifference during the state of presence of his beloved seems to profligate because of the conflicting nature of their personalities but as soon as a female factor tends to get missing in his surroundings he quickly realises the fundamental nature of his dependence on his beloveds physical presence.

Another Anonymous Intellectual: Normally a Mans nature is to roam freely and to float in the realms of free flowing air whereas the counteracting nature of a woman, who also happens to be in affair of that particular man, is to grasp her Man firmly and to make quick checks on his free movement because of the fears of his unfaithful disposition which can easily get the stimulus in a free flowing environment.

And of course The highly influential, ennobled & supremely sanctified Personality of Prophet pbuh has this to say on the issue of a Mans relationship with his Woman in one particular Haidth:

A Man has to deal his wife very delicately because of the volatile nature of Women in general. Their example is like a crooked and curved bone of the chest which cant be straightened by the use of force because of the fear of its breakage and it should also not to be left alone for a considerable period of time because of the fear of that crookedness to become sterner and non elastic towards the ends.

 

[canadian]

Though the light & benign quotes and remarks of the first post of this thread mostly represent the point of view of one particular gender but underneath of those remarks lays a general legacy and sense of misunderstandings & paradoxes of centuries between these two different genders. A man’s relationship with his opposite gender and the nature of that relationship has troubled the great and ordinary minds alike in the annals of human history which I would like to represent in the following section with a sketchy memory;

Plato: A true love between a man and woman can’t exist in this world. In fact a man in this world won’t be able to love any thing except to appease his own ego and satisfaction because of the latent selfish nature of majority of men. For a Man, and in the similar vein Woman as well, the physical and characteristic qualities of his love interest have only one purpose and that is to cater for his (Physiological, spiritual and Egotistic) needs and requirements.

Aristotle: For a vibrancy and sanity to co exist in the character of an individual the instrument of (Intimate) friendship is essential because good friends supplements each others very well during the course of their life. A Man without the company of his intimate friend won’t be able to achieve the great spiritual and materialistic feats which he’s otherwise capable of achieving it with that gift of nature.

Martha Nussbaum: A man can only actualise the presence of his love interest in a vivid manner during the phase of absence of his love interest. His usual state of indifference during the state of presence of his beloved seems to profligate because of the conflicting nature of their personalities but as soon as a female factor tends to get missing in his surroundings he quickly realises the fundamental nature of his dependence on his beloved’s physical presence.

Another Anonymous Intellectual: Normally a Man’s nature is to roam freely and to float in the realms of free flowing air whereas the counteracting nature of a woman, who also happens to be in affair of that particular man, is to grasp her Man firmly and to make quick checks on his free movement because of the fears of his unfaithful disposition which can easily get the stimulus in a free flowing environment.

And of course The highly influential, ennobled & supremely sanctified Personality of Prophet pbuh has this to say on the issue of a Man’s relationship with his Woman in one particular Haidth:

“A Man has to deal his wife very delicately because of the volatile nature of Women in general. Their example is like a crooked and curved bone of the chest which can’t be straightened by the use of force because of the fear of its breakage and it should also not to be left alone for a considerable period of time because of the fear of that crookedness to become sterner and non elastic towards the ends”.

@
Bret Hawk
Congratulations ! Fantastic analysis,It's a masterpiece.I specially like the one about "Another Anonymous Intellectual":lol: