Marriage - In Reply to "End relations if following reasons are happening between each other"

[Fatema]

Re: Marriage - In Reply Of "End relations if following reasons are happening between each other"

I used to have two hurairah's named them Misty and Nifty lol

They were so identical twins, bought them at 4 months age, used to sleep with me,

Give up both, one got torn up by a rat terrier dog, had to put her to sleep, got so disheartened that donated the other one back to the shelter(cry)

so sorry to hear that. . . I had 2 pups few yrs back. we kept them in our farm . browny n blacky. . . one was hit by a car and few months back other was bitten by a snake. . . we all were heart broken. . (cry). . phir tauba ker li no more pets.

 

[Fatema]

Re: Marriage - In Reply Of "End relations if following reasons are happening between each other"

I had lots of photo but lost all when the hard drive crashed, only this photo is available by some fluke.

I took this photo behind and above the couch they are sleeping on.

enjoy


inserting image is not working. I used tinypic.

upload with photo bucket.

 

[Khurpainch]

Married or not, you should read this

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, Ive got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.


Suddenly I didnt know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didnt seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didnt talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didnt love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didnt have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didnt want anything from me, but needed a months notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didnt want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the months duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wifes divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadnt had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; dont tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadnt looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didnt tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, its time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadnt noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mindI walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I wont divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didnt value the details of our lives, not because we didnt love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, Ill carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son- Im a loving husband.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouses friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you dont share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

 

[Humi]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

nice moral but it is not possible to live with someone who has cancer and not notice it...I have had some family members who had cancer...you can't not notice someone slowly inching towards their death...:(

 

[swing]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

nice moral but it is not possible to live with someone who has cancer and not notice it...I have had some family members who had cancer...you can't not notice someone slowly inching towards their death...:(

thora sa urdu mein khulasa he likh do kia likha huwa hai?(serious)

 

[Humi]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

thora sa urdu mein khulasa he likh do kia likha huwa hai?(serious)

yeh mumkin nahin keh aap kisi aisay shakhs kay saath reh rahay ho jisay cancer ho aur aap ko pata na chalay...meray kuch family members ko cancer hua hai...bohut obvious hota hai keh is banday ko koi bemaari hai agar cancer ho toh..

 

[IhsanIlahi]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

yeh mumkin nahin keh aap kisi aisay shakhs kay saath reh rahay ho jisay cancer ho aur aap ko pata na chalay...meray kuch family members ko cancer hua hai...bohut obvious hota hai keh is banday ko koi bemaari hai agar cancer ho toh..

Sahi bola ap ne... cancer ki symptoms hi esi hoti hain k pata lag hi jata hai....

 

[Niazi Hawk]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

yeh mumkin nahin keh aap kisi aisay shakhs kay saath reh rahay ho jisay cancer ho aur aap ko pata na chalay...meray kuch family members ko cancer hua hai...bohut obvious hota hai keh is banday ko koi bemaari hai agar cancer ho toh..

meri khala ki death bhi cancer sy hui thi.......jb mein un ky bety sy qabarstan mein mila janaza parhny ky baad tu us ny kha hum tu apni aami ko kb ka dafan kr chuky thy......aj tu rasam hee poori ki hai.......ALLAH ki zaat aap ky ghar walon ko sabar krny ki taufeeq ata farmaye......

 

[Ebrahiem]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

nice moral but it is not possible to live with someone who has cancer and not notice it...I have had some family members who had cancer...you can't not notice someone slowly inching towards their death...:(

My cousin, one day before he died ... no one could control their tears he was in such a condition. May Allah swt grant him jannat ul firdous, amen

 

[Humi]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

My cousin, one day before he died ... no one could control their tears he was in such a condition. May Allah swt grant him jannat ul firdous, amen

May Allah grant your relatives Jannat-al-Firdous Ameen!

I agree...I saw my maternal grandmother and an uncle going through the same thing very closely...its a vary hard time for all the friends and relatives as well...

 

[Usman Sansi]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

meri ankain bar ain is bai ka hal par kar

 

[Believer12]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

اچھی کھانی ھے شادی کرتے وقت یاد رھنا چاھیے کہ دو بلکل مختلف عادات،کلچر، اور رویوں کے مالک میاں بیوی کا ملاپ ھورھا ھے۔کمپرومائز کے بغیر آپ اکٹھے نھیں رھ سکتے۔کسی کی بیوی کو اسکے شوھر سے بدگمان کرنا بھت آسان ھے مرد و خواتین کو یہ بات ذھن میں بٹھا لینی چاھیے کہ اگر انکا لائف پارٹنر اچھا ھے تو اسکا ساتھ کسی بھی صورت مت چھوڑیں۔ورغلانے والے بھت ھوتے ھیں لیکن ٹھنڈے دل سے غور کیجیے کہ کیا وھ لوگ اپکے ساتھ چار دن بھی چل سکیں گے؟ اگر کوی اپنے پارٹنر کو چھوڑ دے اور اسکا اگلا پارٹنر ویسا اچھا نہ ھو تو پھر اچھے دنوں کو یاد کر کے ساری عمر کا پچھتاوا اور رونا ھے۔

 

[Ebrahiem]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

May Allah grant your relatives Jannat-al-Firdous Ameen!

I agree...I saw my maternal grandmother and an uncle going through the same thing very closely...its a vary hard time for all the friends and relatives as well...

Ohh very sad. May Allah swt's help be with all of us and save everybody from such painful things amen

 

[waqarwah81]

Re: Married or not, you should read this

Great great story,felt like crying while reading it.

 

[basim973]

Re: Marriage - In Reply Of "End relations if following reasons are happening between each other"

Good reading! However its an experience of two individuals from their imprefect practices.
Lets see the message and moral.......can we corelate the issue/story with the quran/hadith........
I am a married man and I can understand the feelings.............
In islam, according to quran and understanding of the Sahabas, their is wisdom of conditioning the divorce with three "talaqs" all at different points in time and there is a due time between two talaqs and the couple is suggested strongly to live together between the two periods. The creator of humans knows the flaws of this machine and true/successful functioning of this............
A believer has faith in the commandments of Allah and his Prophet (PBUH) and a non-believer learns from the long experiences of his life and mostly losses at the end.

May Allah bring us close to Quran and keep us on the straignt path to Junnah.............Ameen!