When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you... She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce... I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chop sticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company...
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy... Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully...
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time... I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead....... I cried and cried uncontrollably and carried her for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down my face and gazing at my only son, his tears rolling from his eyes, they made me cry even more. I had lost my love, my wife and a loving and caring mother and nothing I could do now to put the clock backward... I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she made her last journey to the Lord..... I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I did not do for her when she was still alive....... & placed gently the flowers in her hands with my tears trickling on them....... she was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back .
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
To those who are married Not married... and soon to be married
THE TIME IS ALWAYS RIGHT TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT
Moral of the story is to value all the things we possess, once they are gone we have nothing but regrets!
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you... She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce... I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chop sticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company...
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy... Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully...
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time... I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead....... I cried and cried uncontrollably and carried her for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down my face and gazing at my only son, his tears rolling from his eyes, they made me cry even more. I had lost my love, my wife and a loving and caring mother and nothing I could do now to put the clock backward... I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she made her last journey to the Lord..... I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I did not do for her when she was still alive....... & placed gently the flowers in her hands with my tears trickling on them....... she was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back .
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
To those who are married Not married... and soon to be married
THE TIME IS ALWAYS RIGHT TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT
Moral of the story is to value all the things we possess, once they are gone we have nothing but regrets!
روزانہ کے معمول کے مطابق میں اپنے گھر پہنچا تو میری بیوی نےکھانا سرو کرا کھانے کی ٹیبل پر میں نے اس کا ہاتھ تھامہ اور کہا کہ مجھےتمہیں کچھ بتانا ہے،وہ خاموشی سے کھانا کھاتی رہی،اس کی آنکھوں سے درد صاف ظاہر ہورہا تھا،مجھے سمجھ نہیں آرہا تھا کہ کیا کہوں،مگر مجھے اسے بتاناہی تھا کہ میں کیا سوچ رہا ہوں،ہمیں الگ ہوجانا چاہیے،میں نے دھیمے لہجے میں کہا۔مگر شاید اسے پہلے سے ہی شاید اندازہ تھا کہ میں کیا کہنا چاہتا تھا،اس نے نم آنکھوں سے پوچھا"کیوں"۔میں اس بات کا جواب نہیں دینا چاہتا تھا،اس رات ہم دونوں نے ایک دوسرے سے بات نہیں کری،وہ چپکے چپکے ساری رات روتی رہی،میں جانتا تھا کہ وہ اس علحیدگی کی وجہ جانا چاہتی ہے،مگر میں بھی جانتا تھا کہ میرے پاس اس سوال کا کوی جواب نہیںسواے اس کے کہ میں کسی اور سے محبت کرنے لگا ہوں،میں رات بھر خاموشی سے اُس کی سسکیاں سنتا رہا،صبح میں نے وکیل سے اپنے طلاق نامہ کے کاغزات مکمل کرواے اور گھر پہنچ کرجب میں نے وہ کاغزات اپنی بیوی کو دے تو اس ایک نظر ان پر ڈالی اور پھرکا غزات کے ٹکڑے ٹکڑے کردے، ہم دونوں جنھوں نے زندگی کے پندرہ سال گزارے تھے اچانک ایک دوسرے کے لے اجنبی لگنے لگے،وہ میرے سمنے بچوں کی طرح پھوٹ پھوٹ کر رونے لگی،مگر مجھ پر اس کا کوی اثر نہیں ہوا کیونکہ میں جانتا تھا ایسا ہوگا۔میں چپ چاپ جاکر سونے کے لے لیٹ گیا،اگلے روز میں آفس سے گھر دیر سے آیا تو اپنی بیوی کو اسٹڈی روم میں ٹیبل پر کچھ لکھتے ہوے دیکھا،میں نے اسے نظر انداز کرکے اپنے کمرے میں سونے چلا گیا،رات میں اچانک میری آنکھ کھلی تو میں نے اسٹڈی روم کی لایٹ آن دیکھی مگر میں کروٹ بدل کر سوگیا،صبح اٹھا تو ناشتہ کے ساتھ ایک لفافہ بھی تھا جس میں میری بیوی کی طرف سے طلاق کی شرایط تھی جن کے مطابق اسے کچھ نہیں چاہیے تھا،سواے ایک مہینے کی مہلت کے کیونکہ میرے بیٹے کے امتحان ہونے والے تھے اور وہ نہیں چاہتی تھی کہ ہماری طلاق کی وجہ سے اُس کے پیپر پر فرق پڑے،میرے لیے اس میں کوی مسلہ نہیں تھا مگر اس کی دوسری شرط نے تھوڑا سا پریشان کردیا،جس کے مطابق وہ چاہتی تھی کہ جس طرح شادی کے پہلے دن میں گھر پر اس کا استقبال کیا تھا اُسی طرح ایک مہینے تک روز کروں ۔مجھے لگا کہ ہماری طلاق کا اس کے زہن پر اثر ہوگیا ہے مگر میں نے اُس کی یہ شرط مان لی۔میں نے اپنی گرل فرینڈ کو اپنی بیوی کی شرط بتای تو اس نے اسے ایک ڈرامہ سے تشبہیہ دی،اس کی شرط کے مطابق جب پہلے دن میں نے گھر کے دروازے پر اس کا ہاتھ پکڑ کر اندر لیجانے لگا تو ہم دونوں کو ہچکچاہٹ ہونے لگی،ہمارا بیٹا پیچھے کھڑا تالیاں بجارہا تھا اور خوشی کا اظہار کررہا تھا،میری بیوی نے آہستہ سے میرے کان میں کہا"ہماری طلاق کے بارے میں اسے مت بتاہیے گا"اس کی اس بات سے میرے دل میں کہیں ہلکا سا درد ہوا جسے میں نے نظرانداز کردیا اگلے دن ہم دونوں نے اپنا کردار پہلے دن سے اچھے سے نبھایا،میں نے اپنی بیوی کا ہاتھ تھاما تو اس نے اپنا سر میرے کندھے پر رکھ دیا اور میں اس کے پرفیوم کی خوشبو محسوس کرسکتا تھا،میں نے غور سے اپنی بیوی کے چہرے کو دیکھا تو مجھے لگا کہ میں نے اس عورت کو عرصے سے غور سے نہیں دیکھا،وہ اب پہلے کی طرح جوان اور خوبصورت نہیں رہی تھی،اس کے چہرے پر جھریوں کے آثار واضح تھے،اور بالوں میں کہیں کہیں سفیدی بھی نمایا ں تھی۔ہماری شادی کے نشیب و فراز کا منہ بولتا ثبوت تھا میرے کندھے سے لگی یہ عورت۔تھوڑی دیر کے لیے مجھے احساس ہواکہ میں نہ کیا کردیا ہے اس عورت کے ساتھ مگر میں نے اپنے اس احساس کو دبا دیا۔ اگلے ہفتے ہم دونوں پوری طرح اپنی اُسی کیفیت کو محسوس کررہے تھے جو شادی کے شروع دن میں ہماری ساتھی تھی، آٹھویں دن صبح میری بیوی الماری میں کچھ تلاش کرتی نظر آی میرے پوچھنے پر پتہ چلا کہ وہ آج کوی اچھا سا لباس پہنا چاہتی ہے میرے لیے مگراس کے تمام کپڑے اس کی جسامت کے لحاظ سے ڈھیلے ہیں،میں نے غور کرا تو اندازہ ہوا کہ ان آٹھ دنوں میں اس کا وزن کتناکم ہوگیا،درد کی وہ لہر پھر سے میرے دل میں اُٹھی جس نے میرے زہن کو ماوف کردیا مگر میں نے اسے چہرے تک نہیں آنے دیا۔غیر ارادی طور پر میں اپنا ہاتھ اس کے سر میں پھیرنے لگا۔ کتنا درد سہہ رہی تھی یہ عورت اور اس نے اُف تک نہیں کی،مجھے اپنا قد چھوٹا لگنے لگا۔ دن اسی طرح گزرتے رہے اور ایک انجانہ سا درد روز مجھے محسوس ہوتا جب بھی میں اپنی بیوی کے چہرے کو دیکھتا،جب اس کا ہاتھ پکڑتا،جب بھی اس کے ساتھ بیٹھ کر باتیں کرتا،جب ہم اپنے بیٹے کو باہر گھومانے لیکر جاتے،اسی طرح وہ دن بھی آگیا جب ہم کو ایک دوسرے سے ہمیشہ کے لے ایک دوسرے سے جدا ہوجانا تھا،جب صبح آفس جاتے ہوے وہ مجھے چھوڑنے کے لے دروازے تک آی تو میرا دل کرا کہ وقت رک جاے اور ہم پھر سے ایک مہینہ پیچھے چلے جاہیں یا کاش وہ سب نہ جو میں نہ کہا تھا وہ ہماری زندگی سے ایسے ختم ہو جاے جیسے کبھی ہوا ہی نہیں تھا۔ میں اپنی کار میں بیٹھ کر گلی کے کونے تک جاتے جاتے میری بیوی دروازے پر کھڑی رہی اور میں اس کی آنکھوں میں درد محسوس کرسکتا تھا۔میں نے آفس جانے کے بجاے ایک فیصلہ کرا اور گاڑی اپنی گرل فرینڈ کے گھر کی طرف موڑ دی تاکہ اسے بتا سکوں کہ میں اپنی بیوی کو نہیں چھوڑ سکتا۔میں دروزے سے ہی اپنی گرل فرینڈ کو اس فیصلہ سے آگاہ کیا اور گاڑی تک آتےآتے مجھے لگ رہا تھا کہ میرے زہن سے وزنی بوجھ اتر گیا ہے،میں نے دکان سے اپنی بیوی کے لیے پھول خریدے اور اس کے ساتھ ایک کارڈ جس پر لکھا تھا کہ "میں ہر روز تمھارے ساتھ ایسے گزارنا چاہتا ہوں جیسے شادی کا پہلا دن" میرا بس نہیں چل رہا تھا کہ اُڑ کر اپنے گھر پہنچ جاوں ،میں اپنی گاڑی گھر پر پارک کرکے ڈور بیل بجای تو اندر سے کوی ریکشن نہیں آیا،مجھے ایسا لگا کہ شاید بہت دیر ہوگی ہے،میں نے دروازے کو زور سے دھکیلا تو وہ پہلے ہی کھلا ہوا تھا ۔میں دوڑ کر اپنی بیوی کے کمرے میں گیا تو اسے بستر پر بے سدھ لیٹے ہوے پایا میں نے جلدی سے اس کی نبض چیک کری تو میرے دل کو ایک دھچکا لگا کیوں کہ اس میں کو ی حرکت نہیں تھی ،میں نے جلدی جلدی ایمبولینس سروس کو فون کرا،اتنے میں میرا بیٹا بھی اسکول سے گھر اگیا تھا،میں اپنی بیوی کا ہاتھ پکڑ کر بیٹھ گیا میرے زہن میں ہم دونوں کے ساتھ گزارے پندرہ سال گھوم رہے تھے۔اچانک میری نظر ٹیبل پر پڑے لفافے پر پڑی جس پر جلی حروف میں میڈیکل رپورٹ لکھا تھا،میں نے کانپتے ہاتھوں سے اسے نکالا تو وہ میری بیوی کی رپورٹ تھی جس میں ایک مہینے پہلے اسے کینسر کی تشخیص ہوی تھی جس کے مطابق اس کی بیماری آخری اسٹیج میں تھی اور اس کے پاس ایک مہینے کا وقت تھا،جس وقت اسے میری ضرورت تھی اس وقت میں کسی اور کے ساتھ وقت گزارنے میں مصروف تھا مجھے لگا کہ زمین پھٹ جاے اور میں اس میں سما جاوں اب مجھے سمجھ آیا کہ اس نے اس بیماری کو مجھ سے چھپایا تاکہ ہم وہ وقت اچھے سے گزار سکیں مگر میں نے یہ کیا کردیا،مگر اب بہت دیر ہوچکی تھی،میری زندگی کا سب سے بڑا خزانہ میں نے اپنے ہاتھ سے لُٹا دیا تھا۔
So find time to be your spouses friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you dont share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥
aap ne jo bataaya hai woh naya nahi tha........aisa to kai kahaniyon mein hota hai......
is kahani me kuch naya tha aur tragic bhi.......esi liye zyada appeal karti hai.......
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