Struggling to Fill No. 2 Post, Al-Qaeda Resorts to LinkedIn

AsifAmeer

Siasat.pk - Blogger
LinkedInLogo.jpg













Struggling to Fill No. 2 Post, Al-Qaeda Resorts to LinkedIn

Desperate Times for Terror Group’s HR Dept.


KARACHI (The Borowitz Report) – President Barack Obama has created one job that is proving difficult to fill: the No. 2 post at al-Qaeda.
That’s what they’re saying at the global terror group, whose Human Resources department has recently turned to the social networking site LinkedIn in hopes of filling the slot.

“It used to be that madmen would just walk through the door hoping for a crack” says Hassad el-Medfaii, director of HR for al-Qaeda. “Now we have to go looking for these guys, and they all want dental.”

Complicating the terror group’s recruitment efforts for the tricky-to-fill No. 2 position: the recent publicity about President Obama’s so-called “kill list,” which the HR director calls “a big turn-off for a lot of applicants.”

“I’ve had to sit down with them and tell them that the kill list has been totally overblown,” he says. “No one’s talking about the list of all the people they’ve missed. It’s way longer.”

Mr. el-Medfaii says that he has spent a lot of time on LinkedIn over the last week “trying to spread the good news about working for al-Qaeda.”

“This is a great job for anyone who likes to travel, especially back and forth between Pakistan and Afghanistan,” he says. “Plus – and I’m really trying to get the word out about this – we have one of the biggest caches of porn in the world.”

While he says that he has found some “promising candidates” on LinkedIn for the No. 2 position at al-Qaeda, he and his staff are taking extra care in vetting resumes.

“We don’t want to find ourselves in the same kind of mess Yahoo is in,” he says.



http://www.borowitzreport.com/2012/06/07/struggling-to-fill-no-2-post-alqaeda-resorts-to-linkedin/
 
Last edited:

Aleph

MPA (400+ posts)
Full of what?

Dude, these gorays are all about poking fun about everything. They are pretty distasteful (not to mention, disgusting) about what makes them laugh. Did you hear of the cannibalism incident in Miami? It is SO horrific and scares the hell out of anyone and these stupid morons are mocking and joking about it on late night shows as if it's so funny.

Sick people, I tell you.

tag: [MENTION=14890]mrk123[/MENTION]

Who still thinks my articles arent full of it...?
 

tz00007

Minister (2k+ posts)
bro u can criticise them as much as u can and make fun of these killers...

but we shud also see that while making fun of them, we shud not make fun of "virgins" as its an islamic concept.. unknowing we make fun of that too..
 

ranaji

(50k+ posts) بابائے فورم
mulla fazloo diesel ko bana do woh haraaaaamion mai haraaaaami aur sharifon mai sharif aur molvion mai molvi bann jaata hai ,almaroof mulla sandwitch jo qoum ke wasih tarr mafad mai sandwitch bhi bann jaata hai
 

inzimam

Councller (250+ posts)
Complete BS.

If they are stupid, Americans are even more since they finish off bunch of idiots
 

mrk123

Chief Minister (5k+ posts)
You are right - the new generation has weird taste when it comes to humor. The more gory, gross and grotesque it is the more funny it is for them.

If you want to see quality comedy with a purpose then Jon Stewart is the one to watch.

Full of what?

Dude, these gorays are all about poking fun about everything. They are pretty distasteful (not to mention, disgusting) about what makes them laugh. Did you hear of the cannibalism incident in Miami? It is SO horrific and scares the hell out of anyone and these stupid morons are mocking and joking about it on late night shows as if it's so funny.

Sick people, I tell you.

tag: @mrk123
 

Back
Top