Its another lovely day in the life of Reham Khan, sunny with no chance of rain. Temperatures were rising a few days ago but are expected to cool down now that the election is over. The days forecast is pleasant, although, considering what Imran had for breakfast, warm winds are expected at around noon.
What can I say about my marriage that hasnt already been retweeted hundreds of times? Ever since Imran made it public, its either been #SelfieWithBhabi or #RehamTheEvil. His female fan base has been sending me hate messages for two months now. I wonder if this is what it was like for Jemima, or was it the other way around and British men sent hate mail to Imran?
Our heady affair started when he saw me on television interviewing a politician. Who is this incredible moron? he asked of the politician. Thats you, sir, his security detail told him. And who is this beautiful woman? I must meet her. Can we arrange another interview?
The rest as they say is history. At first, hed told me this dharna would last a couple of weeks and when hed be prime minister, we would get married. Then, he told me it might last a month and he wasnt sure if he would be prime minister when we got married. Then, he asked me if he could sell our engagement ring as the dharna had gone on for two months and somebody had to pay for all that awful music being played.
We knew when we announced our marriage that people would be shocked: after all, I was a successful television anchor marrying a washed-up cricketer. We expected public scrutiny but maybe not making the 9 oclock news by eating a kulfi.
Life as Mrs Khan can be tough. He wakes me up early in the mornings while hes practising the days speech in front of the mirror. He sometimes gets stuck on three-syllable words and needs my help. I tell him he should keep it simple, things he can easily pronounce like oye and dhandli. Then, we go downstairs and theres already 50 people waiting to talk to him who I have to listen to while he runs around the house without his shirt.
For lunch, we decide the partys policy. His children usually come up to him to ask for help with homework and then he comes to me to ask for help with that homework. Over evening tea, we discard what we had decided about party policy and, by dinner, we have a new party policy ready to be discarded later. He often sits and pretends to read under lamplight but I know hes not really reading as he never turns a page and is often holding the book upside down its adorable.
He needs lots of love and support from his family. The other day, we sat down and held hands while he repeated, I will not say anything stupid today. But then, he went and said hes half Muhajir. Oh well, you cant win them all.
The best thing about this marriage is that we never have arguments: to have an argument, you need someone to listen to what youre saying long enough to become offended. Imran doesnt listen to anyone else.
When hes watching a cricket match, he does not want to be disturbed. He often says, If I were the captain of Australia right now, this is what Id do, then the captain of Australia does something completely different and wins the match. He was upset the other day that Chinas president didnt come to meet us at Bani Gala. Hed even ordered Kim Mun and was going to tell the president how he was also half Chinese. He also explained to me yesterday how, even though MQM had won the NA-246 election, they had actually lost the NA-246 election because they werent as inspirational.
Imran is inspirational. You see, hes very good at waving to people; he says its just like setting a field. I asked him yesterday, What idiot writes your speeches? I can do a better job. He shrugged his shoulders and said he writes them himself. I told him he should let me take care of these things; Im trained in public speaking and know how to handle myself in front of cameras.
Sometimes he insists I call him kaptan at home but Ive said no. He asks, Am I not the captain of your heart? Did I not bowl you over? Are we not going to build a lasting partnership? Its times like these I wish Id just married another doctor.
http://herald.dawn.com/news/1153058/diary-of-reham-khan
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