Need informed opinion on the process of divorce and khula please

[farazk86]

AoA members,

I kindly need informed opinion (with references / links as well if possible please) about a brother I know who is going through divorce/khula and is having a tough time processing the Islamic take on his situation.

After searching online I found out the Islamic way of divorce:

• first it is clarified that in Islam there is no concept of three divorces in a single sitting or together. No matter how many times a man says Talaq in a single sitting it is considered one. After that one talaq there is an idat period of 3 months, this is also the cooling off period as marriage is a precious bond and Allah has given us every opportunity to reconcile and get back together. During this period the husband can at any time take the wife back if they feel theyre differences are resolved and that they can continue with their lives. But even after these three months the husband can still take her back but with a new nikah.
• If this talaq happens three times then the husband and wife cannot get back together the third time even if they wanted to.

This is my understanding of Islamic divorce. Any informed member can kindly correct me if I am wrong in this,.


Now having clarified that, the reason for this post is the process of khula as there is where my confusion lies and I cannot find any reliable source on it.

In this case the wife was constantly demanding divorce from the husband, the husband and wife had been married for 2 years but on every little argument the wife would demand a divorce from him and the the husband would not oblige because he knew the wife was speaking from anger.

But recently it had gotten worse, for no reason and for every argument the wife would demand divorce and if the husband tried to walk out of room or change subject she would start crying as to why he was doing this zulm by not giving her divorce and why he was not exercising the right Allah had given him. She said that her life was hell with her husband and that she cannot live in this fire anymore, she begged for mercy and divorce.

The husband thinking that she might genuinely be unhappy or maybe she loved someone else finally gave the divorce on one of her such requests.

As soon as he gave Talaq she went in shock and immediately regretted it.

???????

She admitted that she would only demand divorce to put pressure on husband and to make him accept her every demand. And for some reason she was sure that he would not actually give the talaq.

But the husband actually gave the divorce, based on the reasons I wrote above.

Now the question is, is this khula?

does the same process of talaq apply here? can she be taken back now?

will the haq mehr be returned?

Very confused here, some informed opinion would greatly help.

Jazakallah Khair

 

[Nebula]

Depending on the Sect so please talk to Islami Scholar and ask directions on your sect. and in general the Talaq did not happen for next 3months if they want to re-join and she is pregnant till childbirth time. so up to 9 months.

 

[AWAITED]

It is divorce and if iddat didn't happened then they can reconcile. Iddat is not 3 months but menstrual cycle which is considered max 40 days. It shows if wife was. Pregnant at time of talaq or not as in pregnancy divorce is not validated.

 

[AWAITED]

After 40 days they can do نکاح again

 

[NasNY]

This is a legal matter my advice is to find an islamic scholar, due to the fact more details are required.
Mufti Muhammad Akmal Sahab have some great videos on the subject,

 

[Pak Falcon]

My nikkah was done without rukhsati because I live abroad. Still I was sending money to my wife but after few months I lost my job and we asked them to wait for visa until i get a job. I was jobless for 6 months and my wifes behaviour was started to change towards me and my family. She never liked to talk with us so I decided to stop sending money but she kept asking for money. I told her I'm not obligated to send u money until rukhsati.

When I found job and told her, she replied me I have no interest anymore "tu farigh hai humari tarf se" after that we said return our all money and jewellery then I will give divorce. They refused to return and I'm stuck in this nikkah since 3 years. They broke all contact with us.

 

[Sherlock Holmes]

My nikkah was done without rukhsati because I live abroad. Still I was sending money to my wife but after few months I lost my job and we asked them to wait for visa until i get a job. I was jobless for 6 months and my wifes behaviour was started to change towards me and my family. She never liked to talk with us so I decided to stop sending money but she kept asking for money. I told her I'm not obligated to send u money until rukhsati.

When I found job and told her, she replied me I have no interest anymore "tu farigh hai humari tarf se" after that we said return our all money and jewellery then I will give divorce. They refused to return and I'm stuck in this nikkah since 3 years. They broke all contact with us.

Thats sad bro.
I hope that your problem is solved soon. You are actually sorta lucky that you avoided the gold-digger lady. Imagine you losing your job after rukhsati and kids. That lady would have made your life a living hell.
You can start your life again. Find a simple and kind girl (looks really do not matter). She would heal you :-)

 

[farazk86]

Thank you for your replies.

My understanding is that the husband does not want to take her back anymore as after 2 years of this he is tired of this life even if the wife wants to get back together again.

The question is if this is khula and what of haq mehr in this case?

I'll ask him to find local aalim in his area and ask this issue from him as well.

 

[farazk86]

My nikkah was done without rukhsati because I live abroad. Still I was sending money to my wife but after few months I lost my job and we asked them to wait for visa until i get a job. I was jobless for 6 months and my wifes behaviour was started to change towards me and my family. She never liked to talk with us so I decided to stop sending money but she kept asking for money. I told her I'm not obligated to send u money until rukhsati.

When I found job and told her, she replied me I have no interest anymore "tu farigh hai humari tarf se" after that we said return our all money and jewellery then I will give divorce. They refused to return and I'm stuck in this nikkah since 3 years. They broke all contact with us.

Really sorry to hear that brother. I hope the haq mehr was not too massive.

You're not stuck. As Islamic opinion on this, find a humble family ad girl and remarry.

 

[Pak Falcon]

Thats sad bro.
I hope that your problem is solved soon. You are actually sorta lucky that you avoided the gold-digger lady. Imagine you losing your job after rukhsati and kids. That lady would have made your life a living hell.
You can start your life again. Find a simple and kind girl (looks really do not matter). She would heal you :-)

Thanks bro, recovery takes time. Finding a good girl is like finding treasure nowadays specially when you live in Europa. There are all over mera jism meri marzi wali

 

[baaghi01]

off topic but bitches just like to play mind games. No matter how mature they look they will never get mature from inside. My friend also went through pretty much the same. Hes still not fully recovered after years even after getting married the second time. That girl divorced him for another guy who is ugly, n not well off.

 

[Sherlock Holmes]

Thanks bro, recovery takes time. Finding a good girl is like finding treasure nowadays specially when you live in Europa. There are all over mera jism meri marzi wali

Three years is a long period to heal. You should consider yourself lucky that you were able to avoid that family. Aapki bachat hoi hai.

I can relate to you about the struggle in finding a good girl. Eventually, you have to compromise. But you are losing golden years of your life. Marry someone simple and kind and start your life bro.

 

[Pak Falcon]

Really sorry to hear that brother. I hope the haq mehr was not too massive.

You're not stuck. As Islamic opinion on this, find a humble family ad girl and remarry.

I never wanted to give divorce, she wants divorce and I said ok I will give only if u return all money which I send to you and whole gold plus artificial jewellery which we gave her on nikkah because that was just paper marriage. She dont want to give anything back so only option for her is now khula if I dont give divorce.

 

[nayapakistanzindabad]

 

[Truthstands]

AoA members,

I kindly need informed opinion (with references / links as well if possible please) about a brother I know who is going through divorce/khula and is having a tough time processing the Islamic take on his situation.

After searching online I found out the Islamic way of divorce:

• first it is clarified that in Islam there is no concept of three divorces in a single sitting or together. No matter how many times a man says Talaq in a single sitting it is considered one. After that one talaq there is an idat period of 3 months, this is also the cooling off period as marriage is a precious bond and Allah has given us every opportunity to reconcile and get back together. During this period the husband can at any time take the wife back if they feel theyre differences are resolved and that they can continue with their lives. But even after these three months the husband can still take her back but with a new nikah.
• If this talaq happens three times then the husband and wife cannot get back together the third time even if they wanted to.

This is my understanding of Islamic divorce. Any informed member can kindly correct me if I am wrong in this,.


Now having clarified that, the reason for this post is the process of khula as there is where my confusion lies and I cannot find any reliable source on it.

In this case the wife was constantly demanding divorce from the husband, the husband and wife had been married for 2 years but on every little argument the wife would demand a divorce from him and the the husband would not oblige because he knew the wife was speaking from anger.

But recently it had gotten worse, for no reason and for every argument the wife would demand divorce and if the husband tried to walk out of room or change subject she would start crying as to why he was doing this zulm by not giving her divorce and why he was not exercising the right Allah had given him. She said that her life was hell with her husband and that she cannot live in this fire anymore, she begged for mercy and divorce.

The husband thinking that she might genuinely be unhappy or maybe she loved someone else finally gave the divorce on one of her such requests.

As soon as he gave Talaq she went in shock and immediately regretted it.

???????

She admitted that she would only demand divorce to put pressure on husband and to make him accept her every demand. And for some reason she was sure that he would not actually give the talaq.

But the husband actually gave the divorce, based on the reasons I wrote above.

Now the question is, is this khula?

does the same process of talaq apply here? can she be taken back now?

will the haq mehr be returned?

Very confused here, some informed opinion would greatly help.

Jazakallah Khair

I'm sorry to hear it. May Allah make it ease for both. First go to the Masjid and ask a Scholar their for islamic sharia opinion.

Let me ask you, when you fire 3 bullets to a person does it count One? Does any one gave divorce in Love, off course they must be angry and stressed.

The best way for this situation is to gave only 1 Divorce (mean fire a single bullet). Now Sharia gave both of them 90 days to rethink and rejoin. if they don't they can still do a fresh Nikkah but remember any circumstances you've left only 2 bullets now.

If a person say 3 Talaq as per the Fiqa Hanafi, it's consider 3 talaq now both can only get together with Halala. What's Halala, mean women married to another man without intention she'll force him to divorce so she can go back to previous husband. If after sometimes, man gave divorce to the women, after Iddat she can make Nikkah again with previous husband. But this procedure is being abused by peoples are offering money and many others stuff. You can witness this around.

Men gave divorce to women, Women request Khula from men. This is normal thing to regret it, it same when a momin commit a sin but soon after regret it. The Shaitan done his job to break the men and women as soon as reach to final conclusion, left the person regretting.

This is not Khula, it's divorce.​

Yes, the process of talaq will apply because men gave divorce to women. IT's not women got Khula from scholar.​

No, you can't ask for haq mehar (allah knows the best)​

(it's my opinion based experience not FATWA). ALLAH knows the best.
When I was living in US, I've seen many couples living like this, They practice one Fiqa but when it comes to difficulties they want to chose the easy method for them because they regret it later doing it. They become mufti themselves and choose option which favor them. Deen is not Favor it's the order of Allah.

May Allah give us Hidayat and make us among his beloved servants.
Please consider to talk to a prominent Scholar.

 

[Truthstands]

My nikkah was done without rukhsati because I live abroad. Still I was sending money to my wife but after few months I lost my job and we asked them to wait for visa until i get a job. I was jobless for 6 months and my wifes behaviour was started to change towards me and my family. She never liked to talk with us so I decided to stop sending money but she kept asking for money. I told her I'm not obligated to send u money until rukhsati.

When I found job and told her, she replied me I have no interest anymore "tu farigh hai humari tarf se" after that we said return our all money and jewellery then I will give divorce. They refused to return and I'm stuck in this nikkah since 3 years. They broke all contact with us.

May Allah make it esae for both of them. It does happens, sometime Allah opens thing for us to bring us in difficulty to show us who support us when we're nothing.
When women say ""tu farigh hai humari tarf se" divorce does not happens (Allah knows the best). When men says it does.
If you're thinking to marry, go for a Deen Dar women. She'll make you fly.
Marry a women a bring her with you, don't leave them living alone. Money is not the only requirement for women, there're many other thing which we ignore. She ready to left everyone for us, she sacrifices but we don't realize. They're many thing we need to look inside ourselves.

 

[Pak Falcon]

May Allah make it esae for both of them. It does happens, sometime Allah opens thing for us to bring us in difficulty to show us who support us when we're nothing.
When women say ""tu farigh hai humari tarf se" divorce does not happens (Allah knows the best). When men says it does.
If you're thinking to marry, go for a Deen Dar women. She'll make you fly.
Marry a women a bring her with you, don't leave them living alone. Money is not the only requirement for women, there're many other thing which we ignore. She ready to left everyone for us, she sacrifices but we don't realize. They're many thing we need to look inside ourselves.

Brother her father has beard according to sunnah and he asked do we pray 5 times a day before rishta, her grandfather was imam of jamia masjid her mother is a simple woman. My parents choosed deen dar woman from their side and that happened

 

[Truthstands]

Brother her father has beard according to sunnah and he asked do we pray 5 times a day before rishta, her grandfather was imam of jamia masjid her mother is a simple woman. My parents choosed deen dar woman from their side and that happened

But the question is the girl has religious Tarbiya or not. It's not about his looks or beard. Indeed, parents does their best to make sure their kids do not suffer any mishaps but it's life, there's up n down. Make so much repentance to Allah, lots of lots of Istighfar will open the hidden treasure of Allah G.

 

[Pak Falcon]

But the question is the girl has religious Tarbiya or not. It's not about his looks or beard. Indeed, parents does their best to make sure their kids do not suffer any mishaps but it's life, there's up n down. Make so much repentance to Allah, lots of lots of Istighfar will open the hidden treasure of Allah G.

No religious tarbiya she even didnt know she cant give me divorce when she said tu farigh hai. They have given her free hands she wears western style libas don't cover her head and her parents lied to us that she is 5 waqt ki namazi and now my parents have no idea what should they do

 

[Truthstands]

No religious tarbiya she even didnt know she cant give me divorce when she said tu farigh hai. They have given her free hands she wears western style libas don't cover her head and her parents lied to us that she is 5 waqt ki namazi and now my parents have no idea what should they do

It's part of life. Is main bhi Allah ki koi behtari ho gi. Everyone has it own grave.