Mixed doubles

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Asma Lone,wife of Sajjad Lone

This is a rare family picture that you would witness at Lone House: Asma Lone, 34, the tyrant chasing after her twin boys bounding through walnut wood furnishing in the family room as their father, politician Sajjad Lone, looks on indulgently. These moments are few and far between, as Lone who is otherwise known to be a carefree man at home spends long spans away on work.

Asma, daughter of Amanullah Khan, founder of Jammu and Kashmir Liberation Front (JKLF) studied for a masters in defence studies from Islamabad University, after she spent years touring Europe with her politically conservative father. She returned to Islamabad after schooling in the UK.

Through these years she was a passive participant in her father's politics, and had secretly made a promise to herself that she would keep away from it as much as possible, as she says, I had seen it all growing up with my father's political career and didn't quite want to relive it.
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Asma Lone

Khan and Sajjad's father, the separatist leader Abdul Ghani Lone, were friends, who eventually arranged a marriage between the children. The marriage, in November, 2000, was very high profile, with Hafiz Sayeed, the founder of Lashkar-e-Toiba, and many hurriyat leaders showing up in full strength.

Asma feels that her move to Kashmir eventually coincided with the natural progression towards womanhood, as it was such a sharp transition. Her life became a somewhat roller-coaster ride with all the attendant political eruptions, its fallout on their personal lives which finally put the emotional well-being of the family at stake. It was almost as if I began living the life that I had dreaded all along, she says.

Kashmiri women are an emancipated lot. I state this with personal and empirical evidence

Asma's visa was cancelled due to fraying ties between India and Pakistan. (It was resolved only last year.) I couldn't spend as much time as I would have wanted to in Kashmir. And after the twins were born it became difficult for me to take care of them alone; I had an extended family support back home in Pakistan and I voluntarily spent a lot of time there as well, she says.

Through these years she wrote columns on social and political issues in both Indian and Pakistani newspapers, taking small breaks now and then depending on the demands of parenting. As they are ready to set off for school now, Asma feels that she can afford herself some flexi time in which she wishes to work towards the uplift in the social sector in Kashmir.
Kashmiri women are an emancipated lot. I state this with personal and empirical evidence; notwithstanding the general gender disadvantage which is to varying degrees prevalent throughout the world. My mother-in-law was associated with the education department and retired a year before my marriage and my sister-in-law (Sajjad's sister) who worked initially as a lawyer in the Supreme Court in Delhi and is now practicing at the High Court in Srinagar, she says.

Every morning she looks forward to reading issue-based articles in newspapers, trying hard to stem her addiction to the net. Circumstantial pulls have swung her kids between various educational formats and it comes upon Asma to update their lessons. I watch more of Cbeebies than BBC or any other channel! At other times she lets her hair down with her friends at cafes or on adventure trips.

Haihama, a village near Kupwara, holds a special place in her heart. Her father spent his adolescence there, and eventually started a school here as well. I am emotionally attached to this place, thinking all those times my father must have travelled these paths.

Zaib-un-nisa, wife of Hashim Quereshi


Theirs is one of the most opulent homes - three storeyed and spread over 20,000 sq ft - in the Ishbar Nishat area of Srinagar; marked from a distance with the elaborate posse of security men in the vicinity.

Zaib-un-nisa and Hashim Quereshi are cousins, who first met when Hashim was jailed in Islamabad in 1971, after he hijacked an Indian Airlines aircraft, set for New Delhi from Srinagar, to Lahore. He was all of 18 at the time and a die-hard fan of Mohammad Maqbool Bhatt, one of the founders of JKLF and a hardliner. Bhatt was hanged in Tihar and is called a prisoner of death as his remains are still in Tihar. Hashim was imprisoned for 19 years, but released after serving eight years in prison.

They were married in '81 when Zaib, daughter of a Pakistani school principal, was 18. We started liking each other and developed a mutual understanding. Our parents agreed to get us married thereafter, says Zaib, of their courtship. She says she was unaware of the hijacking incident at the time, as I was too young, but has a faint idea that everybody was very anxious in the household. I later learnt that the impact on my family was tremendous.
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Hashim Quereshi & Zaib-un-nisa
I have compromised at every stage of my life, only to support my husband

They are an emotional people and this badly affected their sentiments. My father, the late Ghulam Nabi Baig, who was Hashim's maternal uncle, was taken for questioning by the police. My family members often used to visit him in different jails.

When asked how her life changed after her marriage, she offers a guarded reply, There are two sides of a coin; the same is with Kashmir. It's a beautiful place, with wonderful mountains and tremendous lakes, with very kind people. But I have seen many ups and downs in life here, all the while trying to be very supportive of Hashim as he has had to face a difficult time.

They have four children: Junaid, Sana, Laila and Abrar. The first two were born in Peshawar. The family left for Holland in '86 where Hashim traded in shares and Kashmiri carpets, only to return to Kashmir nine years ago to take off from where he left. I had to see many phases of life as the cultures of Pakistan and Holland were very different, and the culture of Kashmir something else altogether, she says.

She laments the lack of modern facilities that make life here very difficult. I have compromised at every stage of my life, only to support my husband. Abrar was kidnapped by militants in Kashmir four years back, and then released the same day. She went back to Holland and decided to stay on for a while longer for the family's safety, before their final return.

She shares none of the optimism of Asma, as she reflects on the life of many women who are in home sans men, and hence without any financial support. Sometimes women are known to walk over two to three kilometers for water, and even basic medical facilities are not available to them, she says. Hashim runs a trust named Maqbool National Welfare Association (MNWA), and Zaib participates in its activities.

Mushaal Malik, wife of Yasin Malik


The Maliks do not lead a sequestered life. Separatist leader and JKLF chief Yasin Malik and his young wife Mushaal, 26, are media-friendly and often photographed in parks and cafes. The couple was married a year ago. Mushaal is a student of London School of Economics, and paints at leisure.
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Mushaal Malik
She does not have a dark view of Kashmir, saying that her life in the country depends on the political situation of the time. Fortunately, wherever I am there, no mishaps take place, although it may be sometimes disconcerting to see people always staying indoors as they have developed a habit of living with curfew, says Mushaal. But some evenings are fun. I love sauntering through evening markets filled with people and visiting coffee shops.

Marriage has not restricted her carefree ways, but Mushaal feels she has become a more responsible person. Being the wife of a public figure, people expect a lot of you. I try to match those expectations. The couple met in May 2005, at an event organized by the government in honour of the Kashmiri leaders in Punjab House, Islamabad.
Their family was invited to the event, they arrived late and Mushaal remembers that she could not quite see Yasin clearly even as he was delivering a speech. I could just hear him expressing his views on Kashmir, and he recited a few verses from Iqbal Bano's ghazal 'Hum Dekhian Gay'. That had a powerful impact on me because our politicians don't use poetry while addressing public gatherings.

I felt that this man was genuine to his cause, says Mushaal. She reiterates that although there are cultural differences between the families, when hearts meet such things become superficial. The die-hard romantic loves watching old Dilip Kumar-Madhubala films.

Kashmir is a conflict zone. I know the risks involved here, when I decided to marry Yasin. But I cannot imagine a day without him
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A consummate artist, she seeks inspiration from people around her and is currently working on a project on Kashmiri culture, which will be exhibited soon. Apart from its beauty, Kashmir has a rich spiritual attraction. We visited the many beautiful places of worship and some of the best meditation centres of the world here, during our honeymoon.

I would love to capture the architecture of these shrines in my paintings, she says. Kashmir is mesmerizing. It's a dream for an artist to put it down on canvas. For the future, she would like to work with orphans and widows of Kashmir through her work.

After the attack on moderate Hurriyat leader Fazal Haq Qurashi, does she fear for her husband's life? Kashmir is a conflict zone. I know the risks involved here, when I decided to marry Yasin. But I cannot imagine a day without him.