marriage issue

[Billo Rani]

Given his income, getting 2nd wife to support is financial suicide. Parents are your responsibility and not your spouse's. What are you as his brother and other siblings (if any) doing to help with the situation?

great advice with nice abuse now lets assume the person have only some thing like 15K salary he is rickshaw driver only 10th pass. where he is going to pay for maid he doesn't even have money to save. He will cook food and do house hold as well he will drive rickshaw for 12 hrs to earn some buks. Wife kept on sleeping in house and refuse to help him even to manage a small store in house to earn some thing for their kids. Yes now a days parents are big issue for most elite class people they can trough them in separate house and enjoy life with wife and kids, Yes we need to hire maids for them cos our kids will also hire maids for us when we become old. and a wife left bcos mother had accident and she left due to 6 months bed rest ? sorry we need think about those labor class also who cant afford maids etc.

 

[abdulmasih]

Dear all,

I'm posting this thread on behalf of my brother need some valuable advice from you all

My younger brother had an issue with his wife she have left with two kids and refused to come back, after several months of dispute tried every thing possible with each relative to solve the issue she doesn't want to come back.

There is no one in the house who can cook food as mother got injured and cant walk any more. My brother went to union council asking for the permission to get marry another girl so some one could cook food in the house, union council guys asking for 80k PKR to pay and we will do arrangement but we will not provide the permission certificate to marry again. He is in big trouble he cant divorce her bcos he have kids, he cant marry some one else as he need permission from wife, union council wont give him permission certificate but they will take money just for another marriage registration and on the end he will be in trouble of court and punishments with penalties of getting merry with his wife permission.

any suggestion for this issue from experts here jazak Allah

How come she lived with your brother for such a long time?

 

[saneopinion]

Hahahahhaha what an idiot... also doosri baat yeh hai k agar doosri biwi bhi chore gai to kya phir koi teesri lay ker aya ga cooking k liye? .. also doosri lay bhi aya to manage kaisay karay ga pehli aur doosri ko especially jab doosri k sath bhi bachay ho jaeen... aur agar itnay he paisay hain k 2 biwiyan rakh sakta hai to aik maid rakh lay fulltime.. bohat sasti paray gi.. abhi to sirf aisa lag raha hai k apka bhai "apni rooti" poori kernay k liye dosri kerna chah raha hai kyon k pehli wali lift nai kerwa rahi.. amma ji ka to bahana hai bus

 

[kayawish]

Dear all,

I'm posting this thread on behalf of my brother need some valuable advice from you all

My younger brother had an issue with his wife she have left with two kids and refused to come back, after several months of dispute tried every thing possible with each relative to solve the issue she doesn't want to come back.

There is no one in the house who can cook food as mother got injured and cant walk any more. My brother went to union council asking for the permission to get marry another girl so some one could cook food in the house, union council guys asking for 80k PKR to pay and we will do arrangement but we will not provide the permission certificate to marry again. He is in big trouble he cant divorce her bcos he have kids, he cant marry some one else as he need permission from wife, union council wont give him permission certificate but they will take money just for another marriage registration and on the end he will be in trouble of court and punishments with penalties of getting merry with his wife permission.

any suggestion for this issue from experts here jazak Allah

learn cooking by watching youtube videos.I also learned desi cooking in Germany by watching desi cooking youtube videos warna apni German biwi ka badmaaza german kana ka kaar ulti karne ko dil karta hai ?

 

[kakamuna420]

How about hire some help to take care of your mother? It will take pressure off of your brother then he can figure out what to do next. Also how about other brothers or sisters stepping in to help with the mother?

If (biwi == cook)
F off
Else
Cook youself and do soul searching

 

[kakamuna420]

learn cooking by watching youtube videos.I also learned desi cooking in Germany by watching desi cooking youtube videos warna apni German biwi ka badmaaza german kana ka kaar ulti karne ko dil karta hai ?

Wurstchen khaya naheen aapnay

 

[Humi]

what if your brother was a sister? Who would be looking after your mother then?

 

[abdulmasih]

great advice with nice abuse now lets assume the person have only some thing like 15K salary he is rickshaw driver only 10th pass. where he is going to pay for maid he doesn't even have money to save. He will cook food and do house hold as well he will drive rickshaw for 12 hrs to earn some buks. Wife kept on sleeping in house and refuse to help him even to manage a small store in house to earn some thing for their kids. Yes now a days parents are big issue for most elite class people they can trough them in separate house and enjoy life with wife and kids, Yes we need to hire maids for them cos our kids will also hire maids for us when we become old. and a wife left bcos mother had accident and she left due to 6 months bed rest ? sorry we need think about those labor class also who cant afford maids etc.

a rickshaw driver knows how to cook, never goes to city council for permission to get married for issue of cooking food.

 

[abdulmasih]

learn cooking by watching youtube videos.I also learned desi cooking in Germany by watching desi cooking youtube videos warna apni German biwi ka badmaaza german kana ka kaar ulti karne ko dil karta hai ?

you look to be a very nice husband .

 

[umer amin]

i am speechless. khan sahab needs lots of time to educate this nation.

 

[Mujahid Ali Awan]

Wives are not for cooking
Hire a maid

What an idiot

 

[NasNY]

Dear all,

I'm posting this thread on behalf of my brother need some valuable advice from you all

My younger brother had an issue with his wife she have left with two kids and refused to come back, after several months of dispute tried every thing possible with each relative to solve the issue she doesn't want to come back.

There is no one in the house who can cook food as mother got injured and cant walk any more. My brother went to union council asking for the permission to get marry another girl so some one could cook food in the house, union council guys asking for 80k PKR to pay and we will do arrangement but we will not provide the permission certificate to marry again. He is in big trouble he cant divorce her bcos he have kids, he cant marry some one else as he need permission from wife, union council wont give him permission certificate but they will take money just for another marriage registration and on the end he will be in trouble of court and punishments with penalties of getting merry with his wife permission.

any suggestion for this issue from experts here jazak Allah

I agree with everything all has posted on the forum.

BUT

You have a problem.

In my Opnion he should not get married.

1. The responsibilty to take care of his mother lies with YOU and HIM and other siblings.
2. Making food with packet masala is not difficult my 9 year old son made it without any help, just by reading the instructions on the packet.
3. Ask neighbors for help in supervision, they can come and visit and spend time with your mother.
4. Your relatives should also help.
5. DO NOT GET MARRIED. That is not a solution, its a complication.
6. if you or your brother think its still difficult, here is a video for inspiration.

 

[Truth matters]

So the main issue here are the apologetic males on this forum.

 

[bhaibarood]

i am speechless. khan sahab needs lots of time to educate this nation.

Khan sahab himself needs classes on marriage and family ?

 

[socrates khan]

ایک مسکین انسان نے اپنی گھریلوپریشانی کا اظہار کیا کر دیا ظالم زمانے نے ہاتھوں میں پتھر اٹھا لئے... تھریڈ سٹارٹر کے بھائی سے دلی ہمدردی ھے... اللہ تعالی اسے ایک عدد کُک وٍد نسوانی لُک عطا کرے.. فی الحال تاوقیکہ قبول مراد آپ انہیں روزانہ دھنیا کے پانی کا سوپ پلائیں..اللہ خیر کرے گا

 

[Wadaich]

1. In Islam husband doesn't need to have permission for marriage from his wife.
2. The bond of marriage is for a happy and caring life; if it gets otherwise, get separated gracefully without creating mess. Check the life of elders specially early ages of Islam.
3. Husband's responsibility is to provide all needs whatsoever (physical, mental, emotional) at home.
4. Husband is bound to provide her separate home.
5. In Islam wife is bound only & only to safeguard her chastity and protect husband's interests (financial, physical etc.).
6. Cooking, washing, cleaning is not her responsibility, if she does on her own will, it would be her "Ihsan" and valuable for hereafter.
7. She is not even bound to provide her milk & food to raise her own the children, if she does on her own will, it would be her "Ihsan" and valuable for hereafter.
8. She is not bound to serve husband's parents, if she does on her own will, it would be her "Ihsan" and valuable for hereafter.
9. If she owns some wealth husband has no right on that whatsoever.
10. If husband owns wealth, she has certain rights over it.

 

[Inqalabi]

he obviousely has other needs and can't write it down.

Your brother has a strong case, submit a written application and pay government fee to UC Chairman, he will constitute an Arbitration Council and they will issue notices to parties for nomination of representative and give decision in a specific time after hearing them. I think he needs help of a lawyer, don't give money to UC people, they are simply asking for bribe, better give few thousand to a lawyer and get it done the legal way. While hiring services of lawyer, make sure to have a female lawyer.

Chances are his wife will come back once she will get the notice as it will be a clear message that he is seroius in getting married again.

I hope and pray that it gets resolved without getting into second marriage. May Allah make it easy for all the parties.

Here is the law:

The Muslims Family Law Ordinance 1961 Section 6

6. Polygamy.– (1) No man, during the subsistence of an existing marriage, shall, except with the previous permission in writing of the Arbitration Council, contract another marriage, nor shall any such marriage contracted without such permission be registered under this Ordinance.

(2) An application for permission under sub-section (1) shall be submitted to the Chairman in the prescribed manner, together with the prescribed fee, and shall state reasons for the proposed marriage, and whether the consent of existing wife or wives has been obtained thereto.

[8][(2A) The Nikah Registrar or the person who solemnizes a Nikah shall accurately fill all the columns of the nikahnama form with specific answers of the bride or the bridegroom.]

(3) On receipt of the application under sub-section (2), the Chairman shall ask the applicant and his existing wife or wives each to nominate a representative, and the Arbitration Council so constituted may, if satisfied that the proposed marriage is necessary and just, grant, subject to such conditions, if any, as may be deemed fit, the permission applied for.

[9][(4) If a person contravenes the provision of:

(i) subsection (2A), he shall be punished to simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one month and fine of twenty five thousand rupees; and

(ii) subsection (3), he shall be punished to simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to three months and fine of one hundred thousand rupees.]

(5) Any man who contracts another marriage without the permission of the Arbitration Council shall,

(a) pay immediately the entire amount of the dower, whether prompt or deferred, due to the existing wife or wives, which amount, if not so paid, shall be recoverable as arrears of land revenue; and

[10][(b) on conviction upon complaint be punishable with the simple imprisonment which may extend to one year and with fine of five hundred thousand rupees.]

 

[umer amin]

what do you think about 5 wives of shehbaz sharif?
btw i am not talking about marriage. nikah is not a bad thing. looking for wife so she can cook is the problem here.
try to stay positive if its possible or u r also one of them who take salary from ferrari? if this is the case then continue. i understand about paaapi pait ka sawal hay.

Khan sahab himself needs classes on marriage and family ?

 

[pk78601]

he obviousely has other needs and can't write it down.

Your brother has a strong case, submit a written application and pay government fee to UC Chairman, he will constitute an Arbitration Council and they will issue notices to parties for nomination of representative and give decision in a specific time after hearing them. I think he needs help of a lawyer, don't give money to UC people, they are simply asking for bribe, better give few thousand to a lawyer and get it done the legal way. While hiring services of lawyer, make sure to have a female lawyer.

Chances are his wife will come back once she will get the notice as it will be a clear message that he is seroius in getting married again.

I hope and pray that it gets resolved without getting into second marriage. May Allah make it easy for all the parties.

Here is the law:

The Muslims Family Law Ordinance 1961 Section 6

6. Polygamy.– (1) No man, during the subsistence of an existing marriage, shall, except with the previous permission in writing of the Arbitration Council, contract another marriage, nor shall any such marriage contracted without such permission be registered under this Ordinance.

(2) An application for permission under sub-section (1) shall be submitted to the Chairman in the prescribed manner, together with the prescribed fee, and shall state reasons for the proposed marriage, and whether the consent of existing wife or wives has been obtained thereto.

[8][(2A) The Nikah Registrar or the person who solemnizes a Nikah shall accurately fill all the columns of the nikahnama form with specific answers of the bride or the bridegroom.]

(3) On receipt of the application under sub-section (2), the Chairman shall ask the applicant and his existing wife or wives each to nominate a representative, and the Arbitration Council so constituted may, if satisfied that the proposed marriage is necessary and just, grant, subject to such conditions, if any, as may be deemed fit, the permission applied for.

[9][(4) If a person contravenes the provision of:

(i) subsection (2A), he shall be punished to simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one month and fine of twenty five thousand rupees; and

(ii) subsection (3), he shall be punished to simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to three months and fine of one hundred thousand rupees.]

(5) Any man who contracts another marriage without the permission of the Arbitration Council shall,

(a) pay immediately the entire amount of the dower, whether prompt or deferred, due to the existing wife or wives, which amount, if not so paid, shall be recoverable as arrears of land revenue; and

[10][(b) on conviction upon complaint be punishable with the simple imprisonment which may extend to one year and with fine of five hundred thousand rupees.]

Thank you very much finally got some thing to give him bohat galian pari mujhya ainda kisi ke liye thread nahin banaon ga. mujhya jo batia gia tha wohi past kia. he is my uncle's son and his mother is obviously my bari ama as we call same as mother i had offer them maid for past two years now they refused to get money from me they feel shameful.

appreciate your valuable response jazak Allah

 

[RealPeople]

great advice with nice abuse now lets assume the person have only some thing like 15K salary he is rickshaw driver only 10th pass. where he is going to pay for maid he doesn't even have money to save. He will cook food and do house hold as well he will drive rickshaw for 12 hrs to earn some buks. Wife kept on sleeping in house and refuse to help him even to manage a small store in house to earn some thing for their kids. Yes now a days parents are big issue for most elite class people they can trough them in separate house and enjoy life with wife and kids, Yes we need to hire maids for them cos our kids will also hire maids for us when we become old. and a wife left bcos mother had accident and she left due to 6 months bed rest ? sorry we need think about those labor class also who cant afford maids etc.

Why can't you share some of the responsibilities?