I was walking home the other day when I saw a man try to hurl him himself in front of a speeding bus.
Stop! I said. You'll kill yourself.
That's exactly what I'm trying to do. I have nothing to live for. No job. No family. No electricity. No gas. Nothing.
Are you an atheist or a man of religion? I asked.
I am a Muslim.
So am I. Shia or Sunni?
Good. Good. So am I. Deobandi or Barelvi?
Great! So am I. Are you Ahle Hadees or Ahle Sunnah?
Excellent. So am I. Are you Hanafi, Shaafi. Maliki, Hanabali?
Excellent. Excellent. You must be a Sufi too. Qadri,Chisti, Naqshabandi, Suhrawardi?
Wow! So am I. Any political views?
I am MQM.
MQM. So am I. Mutehda or Haquiqi?
HAQUIQI? Did you say H-a-q-u-i-q-i?
DIE you infidel!
And I threw him in front of the next speeding bus.