Jokes / SMS Thread

[DR MEHMOODZAI]

teacher: tum late quon aye.....?

student: ghar mein ammi abu ki larae ho rahi thi...

teacher: wahan tumhara kiya kaam...?

student: mera ek juta ammi k pas or dosra abu k pass tha

[DR MEHMOODZAI]

sardar 2 2nd sardar

yaar koi aisa gift bataa jo seedha teri bhabi k dil pr lage
.
.
.
2nd sardar:


goli mar de

[DR MEHMOODZAI]

pathan hotel mei rost khane k baad haddi chaba raha tha.........

pas mei betha indian daal kha raha tha.........

us ne pathan se tanziya andaz mei pocha:

khan!!! Tumharey ilaqy mei kutty kia khaty hain???

pathan: Daal........

moral: Bachh k!!! Pathan bhi point maar sakty hain.

[sangeen]

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
==================================

Once, Boss, Officer & Clerk going 4 a meeting.
They saw a Jin.
Jin said: As i fulfill 3 wishes at a time
But u r 3 persons so i will fulfill 1 wish for each.

Clerk said: Send me to America with a lot of money clerk disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Officer said: Send me to Paris with a lot of beautiful girls. officer disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Jin said to Boss: what is ur wish?
He said: “I want these two idiots back at office after lunch.”
Moral: Always Let the BOSS SPEAK 1st
===============================

A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short

=========================

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?

Shopkeeper: How about this card,
it says,”To the only boy I ever loved!”

Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

[ejazbabloo]

@ Dr Mehmoodzai
One day there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at 45 KMPH on a high way and enjoying his drive. Suddenly a Sardaji came zooooooooooooooooming on a Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the Bihari 'Kabhi Honda chalaya kya?' and sped off....The Bihari was surprised but he did not bother. After some time the Sardarji came zoooooooooom... in the opposite direction, peeped into the car and shouted again 'kabhi honda chalaya kya?' and speed off, This time the Bihari was annoyed , since the Sardar was teasing about his driving.After some time again the Sardar came back speeding and said the same thing peeping into the car .The Bihari was about to say something but the Sardar sped> off. This time the Bihari increased his speed but suddenly stopped as he found the Sardar lying on the road, bleeding.. He got down and mocked at the sardar' Kyon Sardarji , Kabhi Honda Chalaya kya?' The sardar said ' Wohi to puch raha tha , Brakes kahaan hain dhoondraha tha'!! :-)> [/b]

[sakayani]

A man always used to come down to the barbers and ask him " Kitni dair hey?" Depending on the customers barber used to tell him an hour or 45 minutes. But that man never used to come back. Again one day he came and asked him how long will it be and went. Barber told his worker to follow him and see where did he go. Worker came back in a while and told the barber " Ustad ji, woh tu seedha aap ke ghar jata hey"

[patriot]

Benazir Bhutto, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin
all die and go to Hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and inquire what
the phone is for.

The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes.
When he finished the Devil informs him that the
bill is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for
30 minutes. When she finished the Devil informs
her that bill is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth
writes him a check.

Finally Benazir gets her turn and talks for 4 hours.
When she finished the Devil informed her that
there would be no charge for the call and that she
could feel free to call Pakistan anytime.

Hearing this, Putin gets very angry and asks the Devil why Benazir got a free call to Pakistan .

The Devil replied,

"Since Zardari became President of Pakistan , the country
has gone to Hell and as such it was a local call".

[gazoomartian]

wah wah bahut khoob

There was once a Pakistani and an Indian who lived next door to each other. The Pakistani owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Indian's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Indian pick up the egg. The Pakistani ran up to the Indian and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Indian disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Pakistani said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The Indian agreed to this and so the Pakistani found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Indian and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Indian fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.

Eventually the Indian stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."

The Pakistani said, "Keep the damn egg

[sakayani]

CJ: Swiss accounts kiss key hain?
Zardari: Uss din se daro jab koi Pakistan khapey kehne walla na rahey ga.

[DR MEHMOODZAI]

Sardar to Shop keeper : Cigret hai
SK: yahan nahi biktay
Next day
Sardar Cigret hai??
SK: kal bataya tha na k yahan nahi biktay.
Next day
Again Sardar : Cigret hai??
SK : dafa hoo ja aik dafa kaha na yaha nai biktay, 2bara aaya tu hatora maron ga.
Next day
Sardar : Hatora hai?
SK : nahi
Sardar : ok now tell me cigret hai ??


teacher 2 student : dunia k pahley insan ki nationality kaya thi ?
student : pakistani..
teacher : wo kaisey ?
student : us k pass ghr bi nhn tha ,aata b nhn tha ,bijli b nhn thi ,phr b wo zinda tha....



Ek qaidi jail se farar ho gya doosre din khud hi jail main wapas aa gaya.
jailer; qaidi se poocha jub tum bhaag gaye thay to wapas kyun aaye.
qaidi; kya batawoon sir jub main chup chup kar bach bacha kar ghar pahuncha to biwi galay par gayi aur boli ke main ne shaam ko radio per tumhari khaber suni thi ke tum kal do paher se jail se bhagay hoye ho.ab sach sach batawo itni dair kahan rahay ho.
yeh sun kar main ne socha ke is se jail hi achi hai


One Sardar was residing on 7th Storey of Building, he came on Ground floor then he thought that he has forgotten watch and Handkerchief at home. He called to his wife to through the stuff from window. She thrown watch first that felt down and broken. Sardar shouted at her and said " Stop, Stop ! Don't throw Handkerchief now, I am coming up



Mariz:
Main Kal sham say sakht beemaar hoon.
Doctor:
Tumhain cigrette noshi chorna paray gi....
.Mariz:
Main cigrette chor sakta hoon magar noshi nahin
Doctor:
Kyun?
Mariz:Kyun kay Noshi meri Biwi ka naam hai.........


A boy
once a boy came home late night

her mother asked where were u ?

he said, I went to watch a movie named "MAA(mother) da PYAR"

her mother said now go upstairs and watch another movie

Peooo(father) da pyar



Kia aap chinese haiN ?
hahaha

do bunday railway station kay waiting room may bathay hovay thay..

aik nay dosray bunday say poocha "kia app chinese haiN ?"
us bunday nay kaha "nahi jii may chinese nahi huN "

thori dair baad pher us bunday nay dobara yehi sawal kia .
dosray bunday na pher jawab diya "nahi ji bola na may chinese nahi huN "
pher thori dair baad us bunday nay tesri dafa ye sawal kia"kia aap chinese hain?"
dosra bunda gussay may a gaya aur us nay us bunday ko khoob pita aur wapis apni jaga per baith gaya... lolz

thori dair baad pher us bunday nay poocha "kia aap chinese hain ?"
is baar dosray bunday na kaha " han may chinese hUn ,,hmm kiya kerlo gay ?"

us phelay walay bunday na kha " acha magar lagtay to nahi hain. "



Aik sardar sari zindagi aik hi baat sochtey sochtey mar gaya

ke merey to do bhai hain

phir meri behan ke teen bhai kaisey hain

.............................

Aik sardar indian flag leney shop per gaya

flag dekh ker sardar kuch bola
jisey sun ker shopkeeper pareshan ho gaya

guess wat he said

Is main aur colors dikhao
__________________

[MIAN3000]

[zardari] Zardari Ki Car K Neechay Ek Puppy aa K Maar Gaya .
He Asked To Driver To Find The owner Of This Little Puppy To Give Compensation..
Driver Went And When He Came BAck , He Had A lot Of Roses Arround his Neck .
Zardari Surprised to see & Asked Him ..
Driver Said : " Sir Mai Ne Un Logon Se Sirf Yeh Kaha Tha Ke Main President Zardari Ka Driver Hun,
****** Ka BAcha Mar Gya Hai .. [zardari]
Yeh Sun Kar Woh Nachnay Lage Aur
Mere Galay Mein Haar Daal Diya

[MIAN3000]

[altaf] Altaf bhai London main EID ki shopping ker k jany lagy to dukaandaar bola: Bhai paise?

[altaf] Altaf Bhai dukaandaar ka kandha daba kar bolay: ***** tujhse thori longa.--------------------------------------------------- Teachr: Konsa Parinda Sub Se Tez Urta Hai?

Student: Haathi!

Teachr: Nalaiq! Tera Baap Kia Krta Hai?

Student: Wo MQM mein Hain.

Teachr: Mera Khayal Hai Haathi Hi Sab Se Tez Urta Hai

[DR MEHMOODZAI]

[786best786]

[altaf] Altaf bhai London main EID ki shopping ker k jany lagy to dukaandaar bola: Bhai paise?

[altaf] Altaf Bhai dukaandaar ko

???????? ?? ?? ?? ????? ??? ?? ????? ????? ??? ???? ??? ?? ??? ??? ??? ??? ?? ?? ??????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ??? ?? ???? ????? ????

[DR MEHMOODZAI]

ZUL:MIRZA; Pakistan na khuppay
Zardari; Pakistan khuppay
Z.MIRZA; Kiun
Zardari ; Swiss account khali ho jaiga
Mirza ; Koun hae ya mayee ka lal
[zardari] Zardari ; ADA sian aik choudry hae
Mirza ; Us ko accident mein Murva do na
Zardari ; Buch gia na
Mirza ; kuch aur socho
Zardari ; Ub tu ***** bhe keh ruha hae....... piasa pait say bhe nikalian gaye
Mirza ; yae tu khutenak bat hae
[zardari] Zardari ; Yae sub millay hovy hein [zardari]
Mirza ; Altaf say totka lay lo [altaf]
[zardari] Zardari ; Wo tu abhi mujhay mushkook lugta hae
Mirza ; Yae saray pisy mujhay day do mein sunbhal loonga
Zardari ; Mein ruhman malik say mushwara kurta houn
Mirza Zardar line drop; Sala huhiar bunta haye......HA HA Ha ha.......
ATORNEY GENRAL: Asking Zardari; I have some bad news and some very bad news for you.
Zardari; well you might as well tell me the bad news first.
AT- GENRAL; The court called with your test results. They said you have twenty four hours to live,
Zardai;;;24 HOURS! WHAT COULD BE WORSE?
what`s the very bad news?
ATORNEY Genral;; : I`ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.

ANY BODY CAN COMPLETE THE END>>>>>>>SUGGESTION PLEASE

[Saladin A]

Young Mangal Singh said to his girl fried if you do not marry me, I will jump from the tallest sixteen story building in the town.

But the only tallest building we have in the town is eight story, said Miss Kaur. Then I will jump twice, said the young sardar.

[sakayani]

Sardar ji was going on his bicycle with his sister. Someone tried to tease sardar ji and shouted " sardar ji, mashooq nall kithey ja rahey ho?". Sardar got really angry and replied " Oye, meri tey behan ey, teri honi hey mashooq"

[gazoomartian]

A man died and went to heaven. He saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked the angel, 'What are all those clocks for?'

Angel answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move..'

'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?'

'That's Mohammad Bin Qasim's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie.'

'Incredible, ' said the man'. And whose clock is that one?'

Angel responded, 'That's Liaquat Ali Khan's. The hands have moved twice, telling us that he told only two lies in his entire life.'

'Where's President Zardari's clock?' asked the man.

'Zardari's clock is in our office. We are using it as a ceiling fan

[Murshad Jee]

Little John has a democracy lesson at school, but he does not understand very well. At home, he asks his father about democratic rules. His father replies:" John, democracy is like this. Imagine our family is the country. I, as the head of the family, am THE PRESIDENT; your mother is PARLIAMENT, your babysitter is WORKING CLASS, you are THE PEOPLE and your little brother is THE FUTURE." "I don't understand" says little John. "Go to sleep and you'll figure it out by tomorrow" replies his father.
By midnight, John is awakened by his little brother's cries. John checkes it out and realizes his brother needs a diaper change. He goes to his parents' bedroom and peeps through keyhole: his mother was deep asleep, but his father was missing. John goes to his babysitter's room and looks through the keyhole. Surprise!!! His father was with the babysitter.
John has a revelation: "NOW I UNDERSTAND DEMOCRACY!
THE PRESIDENT SCREWS WORKING CLASS... PARLIAMENT IS DEEP ASLEEP... NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE PEOPLE AND THE FUTURE IS FULL OF ****!

[itsnotme90]

love these jokes