Letter To Pakistani Youth From Mian Muhammad Nawaz Shareef (TOP SECRET)
Dear Pakistani Youth!
Slums & Dirty Streets,
Assalam o Alikum,
On the night of 31 Oct 2011 I had a vision in which an angel came to me who looked like Ahsan Iqbal but had long hairs and white beard. I still can't decide whether it was an angel or a devil but whosoever he was, He told me that youth loves me so much. He told me strictly to love you guys back and apologize to you for neglecting you for such a long period of time.
So kids I am really really sorry to you and I promise that I will never neglect you again. Whenever I will come to power I will give you balloons and sweet lollipops. In addition I have arranged an actor (Show Bazz) who will keep telling you guys how much we love you and will distribute these lollipops among you in concerts.
I would also like to announce important aspects of my Youth Policy today. So listen:
1. Become graduate and PML (N) will make you taxi driver.
2. PML (N) is spending 37000 Rs tax payers money to provide you a third class laptop. (You know the word laptop has shashka in itself, otherwise you can get Google Nexus 7 in 22000 Rs and it is far better than our laptops)
3. We have allocated Rs 15 billion for youth in budget. Now you can eat as many Raywarian (ریوڑیاں) as you want. But remember we have not allocated any money in health care so if you get dental caries, no one will help you. Eat at Your Own Risk!
4. We have allocated Rs 2.4 billion for IT sector. Remember by IT sector we mean social media team of PML-N. Now You can make money through Facebook and Twitter. All you have to do is to promote PML-N on social media and get paid for it. See how Faraz Tajammul, Fiaz Khan and many other are making hundreds of dollars a day, why can't you earn money?
5. From now onwards you can become MEMBER and WORKER of PML-N (but you can never become a leader of PML-N, no matter how competent you are, because it is only the right of sharif family like Hamza and Maryam).
6. Please vote for PML (N) but don't ask for tickets of assembly because again it is only the right of my relatives and corrupt traditional political Mafia.
7. Don't try to act smart. PML (N) has focussed on you guys only because of this horrible dream otherwise nobody gives a damn about you ****!.
Now go online and like the facebook page of Showbazz Sahreef, to stay in touch. I will see you some other time. I have to practice some circus stunts now.... Byee
One and Only
Mian Muhammad Nawaz Shareef (urf Bari Tind)